Liverpool Leftovers

The Liver Building as you never saw it before!

2011-09-13T19:30:00.003+01:00

We didn't get to any of the celebrations in Liverpool recently, but this video is amazing!

Hardest Hit

2011-05-11T13:18:00.003+01:00

Today thousands of disabled people and carers are marching in London to campaign against benefits cuts. I wish I was there.

This video from The Guardian is from a demonstration outside Atos Orgin offices. The last testimony is particularly saddening.

Tomorrow is International ME/CFS Day. Florence Nightingale's birthday.

Esther Rantzen's daughter Emily cured (again)

2011-02-14T14:36:00.006Z

Emily Wilcox has been cured again. I truly hope that she has found the answer to her ill health. But I think she has all down the line been too fast to try and persuade people that the latest thing she did was the cure for her.

I no longer have the energy to write a properly referenced post about this, but would like to send you to ChronicallyMe's blog post to read all about it.

But I would just like to make a personal comment - So much for the Lightning Process!

2010-12-21T16:59:00.002Z

I think this video sums up very well what the disabled folks of Britain will have to deal with over the next year and more.

It makes me so angry I don't feel able to comment on it, other than to thank the young lady who sings the song.

House building

2010-11-08T21:05:00.004Z

The renovation and building on the house is coming on fast. You can see the photos on my Flickr House Renovation set.

We've reached the point where we need to decide what to do about the central heating, we've been looking at a system called Thermaskirt. At the weekend they had a stand at the Homebuilding and Renovations show in Harrogate, so we went to it, and met with our builder there.

Trip to Harrogate - Homebuilding & Renovating Show

Saturday was a really gorgeous sunny day for our trip to Harrogate. The trees still had quite a lot of leaves, and we saw some lovely autumn colours, the beeches especially seemed to glow in the sun.

Took photos from the car as we travelled, they're up as a set of 94 (!!!) on Flickr here.

I really enjoy photo shooting from the car, there's a randomness that takes over! :-D I was taking a shot up the side of a house when we were stopped at traffic lights, and just at the crucial moment a pedestrian walked past, completely unaware. I think he made the shot.

When we got home and I loaded the pictures up to the computer I was amazed at stuff that we just hadn't noticed at the time. Round Bradford (I think) there are still quite a few old factory chimneys, and a lot of them are totally festooned in mobile phone transmitters. Here's one example.

And once we noticed those in the pics we started noticing all the other ones too...

Coming into the centre of Harrogate we drove past the Winter Gardens, where there was "The World's biggest Real Ale and Cider Festival". Sadly we didn't make it to it, I was just too knackered after going round the show. But I did take a pic of it for John. Goes on till Sunday 14 November, so maybe we should go back next weekend. ;-)

We drove all round the Harrogate International Centre trying to find parking, but their car park was full. Hardly surprising at midday on a Saturday! We finally managed to park outside the Royal Baths (a Chinese Restaurant), just across the road from the centre.

Discrete Heat (Thermaskirt people) had a brilliant position in the exhibition hall, just inside the entrance! "Mr Thermaskirt" himself, Martin Wadsworth, spoke to us. He seemed to me to be particularly good at including someone in a wheelchair in the conversation, looking at me from time to time to check that I didn't have questions. John did most of the tech talk though, as by the time we arrived I was pretty brain dead from the journey.

We collected samples of the lambs tongue skirting, and the deco, which is what will run along (laid flat rather than upright) below the bifold doors I think.

We trundled round most of the rest of the show afterwards. Saw some amazing glass wall panels and splash backs from a Cheshire firm called The House of Ugly Fish. It's worth clicking through for the large images in their Gallery to get an idea of the effect.

Really exciting colour, just sang out compared to all the other stuff at the show, which was either neutral colour or to do with solar PV panels! ;-) I exaggerate a bit, but there were a huge number of solar and ground-heat pump firms there. At this point in time we're not really thinking about going down the solar route (unless we win the prize draw we entered!), but it's useful to get the info.

I don't think John particularly noticed, but there was one stand with a lot of light oak furniture, really beautiful dining tables. Out of our price range, but lovely just to look at and drool a bit over! ;-) They did rather nice chairs too.

The show was very crowded, and pretty noisy as well. But it was fun seeing some of the stuff there, and I think was well worth the effort. And it was a lovely day for a drive too, which helped.

On the way home we cut off down a little side lane going towards a village called Weeton. There was an obvously "Grand Design" type build going on, just a bit after going under the railway bridge, that we smiled at. It's amazing how much you begin to notice builds and alterations when you're in the throes yourself! We parked up for a while just past that and a few other houses.

John had a 3 bean salad, and I had a stiff gin and tonic. Much needed after all the noise and people in the show. It was very quiet, despite only being a little way off the main drag. Birdsong (not sure if robin or dunnock), and I thought I saw some Guinea fowl running along the other side of the hedge. Good view of Almscliffe Crag between the trees, which John would now like to go and climb!

Lots more images of the Crag on Flickr if you search, including some wonderful shots of views of it in snow.

Sunday we went to the garden, and John planted a LOT of garlic. I did some gentle pruning. Grass could do with a mow, but it was far too wet. John tells me that one of his colleagues said there was heavy rain in Liverpool on Saturday. We had a lovely sunny journey to Harrogate, and dry on the way back too, so that was a bit of a surprise.

We finally managed to order the induction hob from John Lewis on Sunday morning, by phone (Jump up and down with joy - we didn't have to drive in to L1 and go to the shop!). It's been out of stock for a while, and I was getting a bit worried it wouldn't be available by the time the kitchen guys come in.

Both of us seem to be sneezing a lot and have runny noses. I'm hoping it'll have cleared up by the weekend.

Sun halo

2010-08-25T19:27:00.002+01:00

Sitting on the deck just outside the caravan door on Saturday I saw this wonderful sun halo. While it doesn't always foretell bad weather, it certainly did on this occasion. Makes me think of Stargate!

I'm being highly entertained by the flock of sparrows that come to feed off the bird table and various feeders we have on the patio here. They are very rowdy, but also shy - they fly off even if I just move around inside the caravan.

Last week I was sitting in the van with the door open, and a house sparrow flew in and perched on the peg basket by the door. I'm not sure who was more surprised, him or me! A number of them have tried to fly in through the (closed) windows too. Fortunately they all have survived, but I guess it comes as something of a shock to them.

Got lost for a while

2010-06-28T18:30:00.004+01:00

Sorry been missing for so long, had immense problems logging in and have been too tired from gardening to spend the time sorting it out.

The roses in the garden have been wonderful, despite the hacking back they got in the winter.

Potatoes are mainly flowering now. We did dig up one of the First Earlies (Lady Crystl) but despite delving deep we only found 2 spuds. But the garlic is good, and we've had our first meal from the garden.

First garlic

First produce from the garden

First meal from the garden

The twins are 7 weeks old today, and growing fast. We spent the afternoon with them yesterday, were totally shattered afterwards!

So we went back to the new house and chilled out with the living room window open for a while. Suddenly a fox sauntered across the lawn... He looked me straight in the eye, then kind of shrugged his shoulders, and continued his saunter up the central path, and presumably across next door garden and into the others along the road. Grey of muzzle, and quite a lot of grey on his coat too. Neighbour had already said she thought he was an elderly fox.

Woodpecker

2010-05-29T20:56:00.002+01:00

We're having fun trying to get to grips with the garden. Lots of lovely birds visit, but we are really happy to have a pair of woodpeckers call in and eat some of the food we leave out.

International ME Awareness Day 2010

2010-05-12T22:26:00.002+01:00

The last few years my life has changed a lot. Since my parents died in 1997 we have had to battle with legal stuff, but the end is possibly in sight now over all that.

We completed buying a new (to us) house in December 2009, and the plans for an extension have just gone in to the City Planners. Meanwhile we are trying to get to grips with what was once a beautiful garden, but was very overgrown and wild with brambles and ivy. We are fortunate to be able to still live in our old home while the renovation and extension work is going on. I really don't think I could have taken on a project like this otherwise.

But the biggest change happened just two days ago on 10th May. Our younger daughter gave birth to twin boys. Yesterday we saw them for the first time - two tiny little babies. Our grandsons.

So I am thinking at this time of all of those people with ME/CFS who have not had children themselves, and so are deprived of the happiness that I have right now.

Most of what is written about ME/CFS research seems to be about getting folks back to work, coping, blah blah. But I don't recall seeing much (anything?) about the loss of personal lives.

I was lucky in that I already had my two daughters when I became ill.

After returning to the work place part time back in 1988, I became ill in March 1992. I missed a lot of my girls growing up, they had to help me rather then me helping them. But they have stuck by me, and have always helped as much as possible, both were godsends during my parents' decline and final illnesses.

But I know of so many people with this DD (Damned Disease) who live alone, who cannot get out to meet with potential partners and friends, who have to face the possibility of never sharing their lives with anyone.

Meanwhile we are all left with clinics run on psycho-social theories that do not address the effects of this illness even in psycho-social terms.

I delight to have the joy of twin grandsons, but I despair that many of my fellow patients will be deprived of this joy in their lives.

It's time the MRC and NICE woke up to the fact that around 250,000 people in the UK are not only lost to the work place, but also are losing out on one of the most important aspects of their lives - their family lives.

Blogging for ME/CFS Awareness

Keyhole Gardens

2010-04-06T10:15:00.001+01:00

I saw this link on a gardening forum, and thought it was a lovely and useful idea.

Making a Keyhole Garden in Lesotho from Send a Cow on Vimeo.

We bought a house

2009-12-19T19:35:00.003Z

Been a long time since I posted here. We finally bought a house, purchase was completed on 11 December and we've been trying to get various stuff sorted out ever since.

The garden is quite large for a semi round here, and has some lovely shrubs - quince in the front garden, magnolia, camellia, azaleas in the back.

Quince flowers

We've been tackling the brambles in the back garden, and also the buddleias. I chopped down most of a buddleia yesterday - or at least pruned it severely, and began trying to prune some of the roses. Here's a picture of the garden from the back bedroom, taken a while ago, and before we began work on the pruning etc.

Have my favourite visitor here again!

2009-07-04T19:07:00.003+01:00

Here's Brodie!

We're going through some interesting times right now, as we offered on a 2 bedroom bungalow yesterday (subject to survey) and heard soon after 5pm that our offer has been accepted.

I am feeling fairly mixed up about it all, it will be hard to leave this house, say goodbye to our mini-Eden in the back yard...

But I have a friendly visitor staying with me. And he keeps me sane in times that feel a bit insane to me!

Teeth!

2009-06-26T20:50:00.006+01:00

I went to the Dental Hygienist today. I was lectured about what a mess my teeth were because I hadn't really flossed them at all in the last 3 months. I did mention that I was finding it hard to even clean my teeth, let alone floss them due to the cap on one of my upper front teeth being loose and wobbly - Dentist (seen just before we went to the caravan in May) said she thinks the root has split. So can't be cured, that tooth must go. At least I've got nice clean teeth for a day after scale and polish! ;-)

Not sure what to do, but cannot face another denture - the bottom one is useless and I have to take it out to eat as a couple of times I've nearly swallowed the beastly thing and I'm scared of choking on it! So guess it's bridge or implant time. Hygienist says implants best but costly... I need to see the Head Dentist to find out what's possible. It depends on jaw bones and stuff like that I think. Next appointment in September, could organise something sooner, but I think I'll just have to put up with eating slush and only chewing on the right side of my mouth as would prefer to be gardening at the caravan!

I keep thinking of that Pam Ayre's poem - "I wish I'd looked after me teeth"!

After dental adventures we went to "Mr T's" (that supermarket whose name must not be mentioned!) for me to get a photo done for new Blue Badge. As usual ghastly, and not suitable for a passport as my ears are not showing (cost £4). Then back home to pick up the paperwork and go to the nearest Liverpool Direct place where I produced several thousand proofs of identity ;-) and came away with the new Badge (cost £2). Total cost for new badge £6. While I am very grateful for the freedom the Badge gives me, the ability to park in some places where other motorists aren't allowed, and free onstreet parking, I guess that the £6 could be very hard for some disabled folks to find even though it's only every 3 years.

Yesterday we did a HUGE shopping trip - both Aldi and Lidl! Took nearly 4 hours I think. Bought a digital camera for John (Aldi) - I think he's going to have a lot of fun with it. Next step is for him to open a Flickr account - will post it when he does. Plus we got lots of maple syrup and some waffles. I feel a waffley breakfast coming on - make a nice change from poached or scrambled eggs on toast! Also a microwave for the caraven at Lidl, with a palm plant for me, and a mini-pond though I'm not sure if the plants for it are still alive. John added some water to the bags they were packed in last night, in an attempt to keep them going till we can plant them. It's been chucking it down since we got home from Liverpool Direct, so can't plant tonight.

Anyway, all of the above is why I'm now sitting in bed with a hot water bottle on my back (despite the heat and humidity this evening) rather than watching Glastonbury downstairs on the HD TV. At least we've got a TV in the bedroom, so not totally deprived!

Still haven't managed to earth up the potatoes - been meaning to do it all week. Maybe tomorrow!

Nature red in tooth and claw

2009-06-18T13:23:00.007+01:00

We seem to have had several rather gruesome days at the caravan!

A couple of days ago I looked across the field to see a large gull tucking into what I thought looked like the remains of a young rabbit. It was quite a big and elegant bird with a black back, a gull that I don't recall seeing in the field here before (we usually have herring gulls), our neighbour from across the field reckons it was a Great black-back gull. He was sufficiently intrigued to take some video of it (eek!) and told us it actually stood on the rabbit and then tore off strips of meat. Two herring gulls were standing by looking hopeful, but they didn't stand a chance!

Yesterday it rained from around 5am, very hard, and with a strong south-easterly wind, blowing hard on the side of the caravan. John was making lunch when he began cursing - water was dropping down on him from one of the spotlights in the kitchen! Not a lot to do at the time, as it was raining too hard to investigate. So we called our landlord, who said he'd get in touch with Gwilym to come and take a look. We suspect the vent/skylight over the shower is the weak point, especially since we were getting water coming into the shower.

Despite the rain we had some rather bedraggled goldfinches feeding on the niger seed and the sunflower hearts for most of the morning. The rain cleared soon after mid day, though it still looked rather nasty over the mainland. We watched a kestrel hovering over the fields by the farm, and then over our field, and it stooped over the next door field further over to us.

Meanwhile we had about seven goldfinches trying to feed from the niger seed, and it only has four perches. Two of the goldfinches got into a kerfuffle, flying up into the air with an explosion of wings, circling each other and making a racket. Suddenly a brown bomb descended from the sky, a flurry of brown wings flying away, with a small body dangling from its feet. So we think that the kestrel had missed its prey before, and taken a goldfinch instead.

This morning there was a similar altercation between a couple of the goldfinches. For a while nothing happened, but then there was another avian explosion. I missed the hunt, but John saw a large bird dive and chase a small one into the hedge. Suddenly it was there, sitting on a post just outside the caravan window. Bright yellow eye, yellow tallons, but nothing in beak or tallons - we think the little bird got away this time! I managed to take a photo, and from that we think it was a male sparrowhawk this time.

Amazing clouds

2009-06-06T00:18:00.004+01:00

These clouds are really amazing!

Not doing very well at the mo, just more of the same old...

House is a complete mess with all my folks stuff here. Well, we've got rid of a lot, but it all just takes so much time! Plus we still have to keep a whole load of paperwork "just in case".

We've been planting courgettes and tomatoes this week (and gazenias and lobelia), but I reckon my carefully germinated peas at the caravan will have had it over the last week as it's been pretty hot. The back yard is looking really lush. :-) Guess we'll do a bit more work in it this weekend if we don't get the heavy rain that's forecast!

Intended to go to the caravan this weekend, but have felt too ill to pack and then travel. Plan was to stay on alone while John came home to work his 3 days. Maybe next week instead!

It's very muggy here today, and I think that kind of weather is very enervating, even for healthy folks. Plus there's been thunder near (not that I've heard, was on the weather news), I find that I seem to feel kind of agitated when there's thunder around. On edge.

I don't know if it's the electricity or the air pressure, but something makes me feel very uncomfortable. And I only realise why when the storm has broken and I suddenly feel much better.

Wish we could be using our new table and chairs on the deck this weekend, but I know we'll have time to enjoy them later in the year.

Silver Sufferers

2009-05-12T21:58:00.011+01:00

Blogging for ME/CFS Awareness

Way back in 1955 there was an outbreak of M.E. at the Royal Free Hospital. It mainly affected nurses and doctors, they would have been young people back then. Now they will be pensioners, and I wonder how well they are doing now. Hopefully some will have made a recovery, but how many of them went on to become some of the 25% group who are housebound and/or bedbound?

Recent campaigns by M.E. Charities have concentrated their efforts on young people with M.E. This is a good thing, as it is a very difficult thing to live with M.E., and it is sad to see young people suffering, losing their teenage (or even younger) years to this horrible illness. It impacts on their education as well as their social life. So even those who recover have lost a part of their lives, and will have difficulty catching up on qualifications they need for the careers they wish to pursue.

But I begin to feel that older people with M.E. are being forgotten.

Even in "the prime of life" (whatever that is!) M.E. is a difficult illness to live with. It is hard to meet friends; let's face it, it's hard just to make a cuppa tea or coffee!

Last year I turned 60. I now receive my Old Age Pension. At least I will never have to fill in another IB50 form, sweat over it for weeks, and worry that I will lose my Incapacity Benefit.

In the previous few years I saw my parents becoming more and more frail, and eventually dying after some months in nursing homes. I was not able to help them in the last years they remained in their own home.

My Mother pleaded with me to go and stay with her after she had a fall, was in pain, and couldn't manage at home. I couldn't. The next day she was admitted to hospital, descended very quickly into dementia, and after a few weeks in a nursing home she died.

While my Father was in a nursing home I hardly managed to visit, as most of our energy went on trying to continue to help my Mother, and then visit her in hospital.

As an only child I felt stretched between them, unable to help either.

I am one of the lucky ones. My husband continues to care for me, to do nearly all the shopping and cooking (we gave up on the other housework other than the most basic cleaning!). Our daughters help when they can. And because of the help that I get from my family I am lucky enough to be able to enjoy the little energy I have, to take some photos, to do a bit of gardening, and currently to be staying at our caravan in Abersoch - John has left me with a large pan of delicious stew, and plenty of other easy to prepare food.

But what happens to those M.E. patients who live alone? After many years of struggling with the most basic of life's chores, as they age, how will they manage? I don't see that Social Services will be of much use - already I hear stories of how "carers" provided by them are refusing to do things that in the past they might have done, such as shopping and cooking.

We all are getting older, we read in the papers that the aging population is a time bomb, there won't be the money to look after us baby boomers. But how much worse is it for those who for years have had this damned disease? No job, so no comfortable pension, no circle of friends, no supportive partner or family for many. And as we age, those of us whose parents have looked after them may see their only support become too incapacitated themselves to help any more. So who will help them then?

Perhaps it's time for the M.E. Charities to begin to campaign for us old age pensioners with M.E.?

Sunset at Bwlchtocyn

Red Nose Day

2009-03-13T22:16:00.004Z

We made it to the caravan yesterday, so are celebrating Red Nose Day in Bwlchtocyn.

Poem from 1989

2009-03-05T19:59:00.006Z

I'm sure daughter won't be terribly pleased that I've posted this here... But I want to keep it somewhere it I can find it, and not lose it merely because the tatty piece of paper it's written on disintegrates. I think it's a great poem for an eight year old. Proud Mum!

After all these years am still a proud Mum of both my wonderful daughters.

25th April 1989

The Snail

Mrs Snail went out for a slither one day
And the sun was shining bright and gay
But Mrs Snail gave a silent wail
For a small thin bird was out for a glide
And of course Mrs Snail didn't want to be spied
So she quickly went to hide.
The hungry bird flew out of sight
And Mrs Snail felt Joy and light.

(It must be fairly obvious that I wasn't a gardener back then!)

More at the flat

2009-01-25T19:53:00.002Z

We went back to the Flat again today. John washed the bathroom floor, and I did more hoovering. It really was hoovering, as was using Mum's Hoover. But between all of that I sat and watched the sky some of the time.

We packed up yet more stuff and have brought it home. We need to do some decluttering as a matter of urgency!

John picked up some Chinese meals from Morrison's as on special offer for Chinese New Year. Spring rolls for starters, which I am eating now, but they're a bit on the hot side, so am only nibbling till they cool a little more.

We've cleared most of the stuff from the flat now, last few bits need help to shift - eg bookcase still there is too heavy for John to manage on his own. Helen may be able to help on Thurday - last day before Completion of sale.

John had fun watching a boat practising sailing skills.

Still clearing the flat

2009-01-24T22:00:00.003Z

Went over to the parental flat again today after John took the Band to catch their train back to Cambridge and did the shopping.

I washed the fridge really thoroughly - it wasn't that dirty, but now I would happily put food in it. Before my feelings were it was a bit iffy.

Cleaned bath and basin. Hope we can wash bathroom floor before Completion on 30th.

We brought more stuff back. We have more stuff to bring back still. Prob 2 car trips still.

I am shattered! Sorry no photos - while it was sunny and still when we arrived, wind got up and clouds came over while I was cleaning the fridge. Fortunately the wind abated before we left - was beginning to worry about negotiating the wind tunnel outside the front door to the building!

We may go back tomorrow, depends if I can move at all after today's exertions.

Rather Late New Year Resolution

2009-01-13T14:54:00.007Z

I made the Resolution at New Year, but power cuts at the caravan prevented me trying to blog about it at the time. And then the car breakdown left me knackered and then other stuff happened too! Sometimes Life doesn't enable good resolutions!

This year's Resolution is to have more fun. The last few years have been very difficult, and we both seem to have lost the concept of fun.

So, will be reading the backlog of books that I bought 1-2 years ago that haven't had time enough to look at yet.

Hoping to get back to drawing more regularly, once a week if I can't manage once a day.

Having re-joined Ancestry when my initial subscription expired, I haven't done anymore work on my Family Tree. I was enjoying this, the hunting aspect is great when you find somebody new! So now the newly released 1911 Census may get me further in that, and maybe a jolt to continue my research.

When I first joined Fotolog, I tried to take a photo every day. Since then I mostly use Flickr, but it would be good to get back to trying to take more photos. Both sites have put me in touch with like minded people, but I haven't kept up with them over the last few years - I want to try and re-connect.

All of these things are fun to me, it will take some time to get back into better habits, but if I can manage one of them each day I will be having a lot more fun!

Edit: PS hope to blog more too!

A rather different New Year

2009-01-06T15:20:00.005Z

John was able to get most of New Year's Eve off work - just had an hour to do in the morning. He had a part day of holiday left since he began working only 3 days a week. So we headed off to the caravan around 2pm. Bit of a grey day until we got past Conway, when the sky brightened, and by the time we reached Pwllheli we were in glorious sunshine... But bitterly cold! I was very glad of the heated seat in the car!

We arrived at the caravan while it was still fairly light, John got the central heating going (and lit the gas fire as well!) and unpacked the car. I was very tired after the journey, so climbed into a nest of duck down quilt and slept for a while.

I woke up in time to see most of Jools Holland's Hootenanny, and we saw the New Year in together. John was pretty tired by then so went to bed, I began to watch the Kath and Kim Christmas Special. Suddenly around 3am the lights went out, everything went off (including the central heating- urgh!) and everywhere was pitch black. Drew back the curtains, but only starlight. In other words, very dark!

I couldn't remember where the candles were (note to self, in future put ready when arrive in caravan!), so shouted for John, but he was really fast asleep. Eventually he woke, and between us we found the night lights and got one lit. We could see the lights were on in Abersoch, but none by us in Bwlchtocyn, so we both went back to bed. I lay and looked at the stars through the front windows, and eventually fell asleep.

Woke early to a beautiful dawn.

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Power back on, but only on low voltage. Enough for lights, and to boil the kettle (though that took ages!), but not enough for the central heating pump or the television. Lovely morning though, just awful cold! We were both really glad that we had the gas fire, just wish it was easier to get lit and turned up to full. But we got there in the end.

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Power came back on fully around 3pm, after another total outage - presumably for final work on the system. We were really glad to get the heating back on, made the bathroom much more bearable!

John got in a couple of walks, but since he started his own blog I'll let him write about them.

We enjoyed looking at the new decking - Tim has done a fantastic job.

I just did one gardening job - pruned the oregano. I cut it back really hard, we really hope that it will grow back as it did last year, as an almost perfect part sphere... until the wind changed its shape and it became more wild.

We had intended to come home on Sunday, and had packed the car ready to come home. Had a variety of error messages come up, and car wouldn't start. Called RAC Motability number, and they could arrange transport. But by then I was so knackered was almost asleep.

So we deferred travel till Monday.

With one thing and another (mainly the freezing weather so lots of accidents happening) we didn't get our tow till about 2pm. Our rescuer, Jasper, told us that it was incredibly snowy in Beddgelert and around, he'd had some scary rescues to do with folks sliding on the ice as well.

Took some time to load the car onto the trailer.

Our driver was Jasper, and he had lots of interesting stories to tell us - he knows the area well, and many local people and places. He came from the North Wales Recovery service who I highly recommend as being friendly and helpful.

We got towed on the loader to Conway. At the office there we were offered a very welcome cuppa tea, and then were then given a courtesy car to drive home. We got home about 7pm, unloaded the car, and I went to bed while John headed for Tesco to get some food in.

Today I've handed back the courtesy car (collected by a very cheerful chap), and taken delivery of a hire care (delivered by another very cheerful chap) from Motability. I have this for 2 days, if repairs on Big Blue 2 take longer than that we must contact them to extend the hire. While the whole business has been a nuisance, it has been mitigated by the helpfulness and cheerfulness of everyone I've been involved with.

Am so glad I went for another Motability car - wonder if the care and service we have been so fortunate to have would have been so good otherwise.

Dr Crippen on ME again

2008-12-10T00:08:00.002Z

Dr Crippen has written about ME again following the sad death of Kay Gilderdale.

I am glad that he has once again felt able to post about ME. Please be gentle with him if you respond to his post - he is a doctor who is at least willing to engage with us.

Still alive I think

2008-10-27T13:48:00.002Z

I've neglected my blog for such a long time. Life isn't particularly easy at present, but it's stuff that I can't blog about, or not until it's over, and maybe not even then.

We went to the caravan at the weekend, arriving in the pitch dark. Was desperate for the loo, and somehow (prob a mixture of the vertigo and the darkness) managed to fall headlong on the patio, smashing my right temple onto the paving. Very shocked, couldn't warm up afterwards, grazing from eyebrow to hairline. Now, three days later, I have a truly technicolour black eye.

Feeling very miserable about all the other stuff that's going on in my life.

But we have my favourite visitor back for a while, and he is a great comfort. Thank God for dearest Brodie!

Pension age

2008-09-01T01:57:00.002+01:00

Was 60 yesterday! Here's a picture Sarah took of me.

Had a wonderful day, culminating in a rainbow and star watching.

Lots of nice prezzies, more to tell when it isn't so late!

Abersoch eventually

2008-08-07T16:37:00.002+01:00

For anyone curious, you can see the details of my parents' flat here. And yes, as it says, we have had an offer. Not counting any chickens yet as the surveyor is still to go in.

We finally got down here to the caravan lateish on Sunday. We've been eating courgettes ever since! Unfortunately we won't be eating them for much longer, as both plants only seem to be putting out female flowers, so unless there's some other plants nearby it seems unlikely that the flowers will get fertilised.

Tomatoes are all still green, but John was reliably informed that nobody round here has any red ones yet.

The passion flower behind the shed is doing really well.

The hydrangea at the side of the shed (on the patio side) has HUGE flowers this year. There are loads more buds coming, so I'll probably cut the first blush off and take them to Mary (MIL) to give the new buds a bit more space.

There's a really strange hole in the ground beside the shed on the field side. Anyone have any idea what it is? Looks too big for a mouse or an insect to me. A mole maybe? The white thing is an IKEA night light to give sense of scale for those who are unfamiliar with inches.

We seem to have mislaid the life jackets, so Sarah has bought us some new ones. We'll check the flat and the house, I'm sure they will turn up eventually, and will be useful as spares.

The sailors did two races yesterday... Came last in the first one, and next to last (improvement!) in the second.

We seem to have fewer butterflies this year, but it has been rather damp most of the time so far. Plenty of cabbage whites, but only seen one peacock and one red admiral. And a fritillary, and one of those orange and brown ones that I can never tell what it is - you have to count the spots in a wing spot and they usually fly away before you get a chance!

Flat up for sale eventually

2008-08-03T00:09:00.003+01:00

We are supposed to be in Abersoch now, but I am too knackered to make it, hopefully later today.

Friday John began his holiday, we went to one of the 3 estate agents who valued my parents' flat for us, and it's now on the market. Or it will be when the HIP is paid for.

I'm looking forward to getting back - to check the tomatoes and courgettes and see the flowers. Here's how it all looked a week ago.

Been busy and then exhausted

2008-07-13T19:43:00.010+01:00

Thought I'd begin with a few lamb bananas.

This one is by the Mersey Tunnel ventilation shaft building.

And this is in Kensington, just up from the Royal Liverpool University Hospital.

Outside Lime Street Station entrance.

We had nearly a week away in Abersoch... Didn't make it till the Monday though. The previous week we did two test drives, and ordered a new Motability car. So we were fairly knackered after that and decided to try and have a rest day before heading for Wales.

Oh the car? Another Grand Scenic, but a diesel this time. With heated front seats, a sun roof, and a dash mounted 6 CD changer. Oh, and a rear parking sensor. If I get back to driving again I'll need it! It's going to be dark blue again, but this is much darker than my current Big Blue. Delivery mid September we hope.

The courgette plants are doing OK, and we had a tasty courgette and cheese starter for one meal.

We did have some nice sunny weather, and even some warmish weather, but this is the only picture John took of me this time...

At least I have a lovely garden to look at while all bundled up in blankets!

Here's the first agapanthus flower of the year.

Lots more flowers still to come, probably some are out already. But we were too shattered to get back to the caravan this weekend. Maybe next weekend.

Long time absent

2008-06-29T23:55:00.002+01:00

I'm still alive! Grin!

We've been doing a lot of stuff (including ordering a new Motability car yesterday) and I haven't had time and energy to update.

But I'm trying to keep photos uploaded in a relatively timely manner on my Flickr account.

Back yard from the bathroom window

The back yard is looking wonderful at the moment - the lilies and the wonderfully scented mock orange are in full flower. My only complaint is that it's been mostly too cold to sit out and enjoy.

Mock orange

Wish I had smell-o-vision for the mock orange photo!

John took this photo of our back yard earlier this evening.

International ME/CFS Awareness Day 2008

2008-05-12T09:36:00.007+01:00

Blogging for ME/CFS Awareness 2008

Denise Vella

M.E Awareness 2008 in Malta

This year one of the youngest M.E sufferers and members of our email support group, Denise Vella, will be taking care of raising and creating awareness about M.E in Malta.

The last 3 years have been difficult for Denise because she did not accept her condition fully. As a result her relationships with friends and teachers were strained due to the fact that she did not explain what she was feeling and her friends thought they were being rude if they asked.

So as this year she is attending a new school (Sixth Form), she has decided to start afresh. On her first day at school she spoke out about her different needs, what she could manage to do and what she couldn't. She was surprised by the students' and teachers' response.

Taking heart, she decided to do the Systems of Knowledge* project (a very important academic project) about pushing for ME Awareness. This entails a lot of energy and work on her part as you can imagine. Financial support was difficult to find however a generous anonymous sponsor has answered Denise' plea and offered to help.

Mr Brian Grech, the photographer chosen for both the poster and the leaflet came up with the idea of using Denise for the poster. Her parents are presently distributing Awareness posters and leaflets in hospitals, clinics, schools and where ever will make a difference to our cause.

ME Sufferers Malta

* Systems of Knowledge is taken at post-secondary level of education (16-18 year-olds) and covers a wide area of Knowledge (interdisciplinary). It also includes a project - the topic of which must be dealt with in an analytic, descriptive and reflective manner. Unless students pass this exam/assessment at the end of sixth form, they will not be able to enter the University of Malta.

Many thanks to Rebecca of ME Sufferers Malta for this information about Systems of Knowledge in Malta.

Off to Cambridge

2008-05-05T11:32:00.003+01:00

View from Spindrift Court, 27 April 2008

We intended to travel to London and stay with Sarah for the weekend, but John has had food poisoning the last few days. He has recovered enough for us to travel to Cambridge today, so that we can attend the MERUK New Horizons 2008 Conference tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to it, it's years since I went to a conference.

I spoke to Dr Neil Abbot early last week when I telephoned to pay for the conference. He told me that there are about 130 people booked, and that someone from the MRC is coming. Lets hope that they do actually turn up!

Better pop off now and finish packing!

View from Spindrift Court, 26 April 2008

PS part of my photos are cut off down the right side. If you want to see the whole picture, click on it and you will be taken to the Flickr Website where you can even bigify it it if you want.

Royal Society of Medicine CFS Conference, Monday 28 April

2008-04-20T22:44:00.003+01:00

We're struggling on here in Liverpool at the moment, life enhanced by a visit from my favourite visitor again - it's always lovely to have Brodie cat staying with us.

Too much happening to catch up just now, but my friend Suzy has asked me to post this on my blog to help publicise the campaign to send postcards to the Royal Society of Medicine to protest about their conference on CFS that happens near the end of this month.

"On a Postcard, please" Campaign. Have you sent yours in, yet?

Suzy Chapman has asked me to remind you that there's still time to send a postcard to the Royal Society of Medicine in protest against their forthcoming "CFS" conference, on Monday 28 April, in London.

The conference claims to be taking a "a broad look at chronic fatigue syndrome" but Professors Simon Wessely and Peter D White were members of the RSM's Conference Planning Committee and the speakers are mostly drawn from psychiatric/psychological backgrounds.

The line-up includes Profs Simon Wessely (KCL), Peter White (BARTS, PACE), Matthew Hotopf, Rona Moss-Morris (CBT/GET), Chris Dowrick (FINE Trials) and Dr Anthony Cleare (IoP) and the session chairs include Professor Mansel Aylward (Unum Provident Centre for Disability) and Richard Baker (NICE).

Read what the national UK ME organisations are saying about this conference here

For the address to send your postcard and a copy of the Campaign Flyer go here.

For a copy of the RSM CFS Conference Programme go here.

It's not long, now. Please let the RSM know what you think!

Snow!

2008-04-06T00:56:00.002+01:00

It's snowing quite hard. Quite a surprise after the sunshine for the Grand National at Aintree. It was forecast, but we mostly don't get snow here in Liverpool.

One of the horses I bet on came in second - beat one of John's bets at the end. So we think I'll be about even on my bets, and John won't have lost much. Sunshiney day and it's fun to watch the big race if you have a small bet on it. We had a bottle of champagne to toast our luck!

More news when more time!

My favourite visitor is back

2008-02-22T12:44:00.004Z

My favourite visitor

Poor Brodie arrived back home about a week ago after being missing for a few hours, minus his collar, and with some scratches on his poor nose. The scratches look to be healing up nicely, so I've been giving him lots of pampering so he doesn't miss his slaves too much while they are away visiting Sarah in London.

My amaryllis is finally in bud - well, the bud has opened today but I haven't taken a photo yet. Maybe later today, though the light isn't very good at present. I'm not keen on using flash if I can avoid it - colours seem much truer with natural light.

Amaryllis in bud

Sunday excursion

2008-02-18T21:59:00.010Z

Felt really rough on Saturday, so just vegged in bed all day. Sunday it was so gorgeous out that we both felt we had to get out of the house. So wonderful to see so much sunshine.

Liverpool really is a city of cranes at present. I find them interesting - the angles they make against the sky and other buildings. And I love their colour against blue skies! Especially the red ones!

Baltic Fleet and cranes

Went to Gordale Nurseries first, where I was tempted by several plants (especially some of the euphorbias, but I worry about their nasty sap) but decided that I didn't really have the energy to look after any new plants right now. It was good fun to have a look at what is available at this time of year though, and it's so great to even begin to think about gardening again.

John trundled me as far as the kids' playground, when we heard some strange bird calls. We headed off towards them and found these strange birds:

What on earth are they? John made a guess at quail, but I didn't think quail had bald heads!

On to the flat afterwards, brought some more stuff home. Cooking notes Mum made at night school in the 1939-40 session. First recipe is lentil soup, followed by kidney soup. Not had time to read further yet. John went for a walk round the marine lake while I went through more bits and pieces.

It was very still, though very cold despite the sunshine. We watched a couple of kayackers paddling round the lake. Rather them than me!!! And then we watched the sun sink over the hills of Wales. Here's the last glimmer before it disappeared:

Today I went for my regular Monday evening counselling session. Been going for a few weeks now, was lucky enough to be able to contact the Counsellor I saw when I was fairly newly disabled with ME. She helped me a lot back then, and now I am seeing her for bereavement counselling. Today we began work on my Life Line. This is going to be painful I think, but I am convinced it will all help in the long term.

Sunday Traffic jam outside St Luke's Church. We think there must have been something on at the new stadium. Obvously this is something we are going to have to take account of when planning on driving through Liverpool!

Pancakes

2008-02-12T14:43:00.001Z

Sunday Sunset at West Kirby

We missed pancake day last week, so we had pancakes for breakfast this morning to make up for it. We both enjoyed them so much we are thinking we might make it a regular Tuesday morning breakfast.

Car Wash

2008-02-11T22:17:00.000Z

Urm, meant to post more often - life just keeps happening. May get to update better soon, but in the meantime here's what we did on Sunday afternoon:

Been over to the flat in West Kirby both Saturday and Sunday and am knackered after all the car travel. We did manage to visit a couple of charity shops, John got a new to him shirt and some vinyl albums, I got two books, blue dragon china (that matches some bowls we already have), and a sparkly over blouse (can't resist a few sequins!).

But on the decluttering front we took a big black bin bag of stuff to Oxfam, and have started the next bag. And I am making plans for boxes at the top of the stairs to drop books in as I go through the book cases in our bedroom.

Sleep time now I think.

Day Trip to Abersoch

2008-01-29T05:41:00.001Z

January has been quite a difficult month so far, but I think things are improving now.

Saturday morning we got a phone call from Harold, our landlord for the caravan pitch. He's found us a second hand caravan and wanted us to go and see it. Phone calls round all the family, and arranged to visit Sunday morning. Sunday morning Helen got here around 8am and we set off.

The new (to us) van is nice - much paler "wood" furniture than the old one, so seems much brighter inside. Nice big windows across the front, similar to how they were in the old van. (we had been put off many of the more modern vans by their small windows at the front)

One double, two twin bedrooms, the twin beds can be pushed together to make double beds. The cooker looks as if it's never been used, as does the gas fire.

The curtains and bedhead fabric in the bedrooms is not really what we'd have chosen, but we'll only be sleeping in there so that shouldn't be too much bother! The living room curtains are thankfully plain, a sort of burgundy colour. Upholstery in the living room is patterned and not really to our taste, but it's livable with.

It's double glazed and fully insulated (that'll be a big improvement on the old van!), but hasn't got central heating. Harold will arrange for the manufacturers to install that for us.

Only downside is that the loo, washbasin and shower are all in the same room. In the old van we had separate toilet with washbasin and shower room with another washbasin. But we'll fettle up the loo in the shed for emergency use, so we can live with that.

Harold gave us lunch, so we didn't get to the old van till about 2.30. Helen and John packed the kitchen stuff up and took it to Harold's shed in the next field for storage, and I packed up all the clothes and stripped the beds etc.

We left the caravan around 6pm. It was clear, and the sky was full of stars. Seemed strange to see the constellations so different to Summer nights! Cassiopea and Orion were clear, and Mars was bright above. Could make out 5 of the Pleiades (Seven Sisters). It's just fabulous to be somewhere where the night skies are dark. Can only see the occasional star from Liverpool - too much light pollution.

We still have more stuff to pack up and bring home, so John has taken a day of work on Friday, and we'll do another day trip. We can't stop over as it's the time when the caravan site is closed, and besides Sarah is coming up for the weekend and we want to see her.

Primroses growing in the bank by our caravan

Thank God 2007 is nearly over!

2007-12-31T20:40:00.000Z

January
Began a series of rants about some so-called therapies for ME/CFS. Here's the first one, there are links to them all in a section on the right.

Jan 16

Febuary
Continued rants on various therapies and discovered the wonderful Quackometer.
Dad admitted to hospital on the 13th.

Feb 8

March
John had problems with his jaw and an abscess.
Dad moved from Arrowe Park to Clatterbridge for rehab.

Mar 18

April
Phone calls from Mum begin to get bizarre.
Found a just started sock from a couple of years ago and began knitting again.Spent a lot of time researching and visiting possible Nursing Homes for Dad.

Apr 29

May
Still knitting and taking photos of the back yard.
Dad admitted to Nursing Home on May 3rd.
John had a day trip to Abersoch.
The last day of May Mum had a fall while trying to sort out her shoes.

May 25

June
Mum admitted to hospital on the 4th.
Still taking lots of flower photos.
Indulged in a Swift finally.

June 10

July
Mum admitted to Nursing Home in Wallasey
Mum and Dad re-united 27th but Dad taken into hospital the next day and died of pneumonia that evening, 28th.

Jul 14

August
Dad's funeral was on the 9th, we were very relieved Mum was able to come and thankful the Nursing Home was able to send a nurse with her. After a day's rest John and I went off to Abersoch for a week's holiday.
On my birthday I wrote about a strange happening after Dad died. A message from?

Aug 17

September
Mum re-admitted to hospital September 3rd after having a "funny turn". Put on the Liverpool Care Plan for the Dying September 5th . She died on September 13th, Funeral and cremation was on the 21st.

John and Sarah and David G. climbed the tower at Birkenhead Priory on our way home from the Funeral Lunch. Then we found our way down to the bank of the Mersey so that I could take photos of the QEII docked at Pier Head.
John had a day trip to Abersoch on his birthday, and celebrated it by skinny dipping at Porth Bach.

Sep 21

October
We had our first visit from the delightful Brodie.
Brown envelope time - IB50 form to fill in.

Oct 15

November
Our first outing together this year for John and me that was just for fun - Antiques Roadshow at St George's Hall.
I strained my chest somehow and was more or less bed bound for most of the month.

Nov 4

December
We had another very nice visit from Brodie, who definitely likes having someone in bed most of the time!
Worst Christmas for years... All four of us in this house went down with some sort of gastro intestinal virus. I was the last to get it (on 27th) and am just now beginning to recover. But we all had some nice prezzies, and it seems that Santa's Elves made good choices for the "kids"! So not a total washout.

Dec 10

On the whole I will be glad to say goodbye to stressful and harrowing 2007, and am hoping that 2008 will be a lot happier!

Here's wishing all my readers a Very Happy New Year!

Our belated Christmas

2007-12-31T19:55:00.000Z

By Boxing Day both Sarah and John were somewhat recovered, so cooked the Turkey.

Helen and David W. came for lunch, though David was still feeling a bit groggy - he had a cold anyway even without the after effects of the dreaded lurghi! Sadly David G. began to feel ill just before it was dished up. At least he got to open a few prezzies before lunch (we were waiting for the turkey to finish cooking, so thought we'd begin the ritual).

John got a pile of interesting books and CDs.

After we'd opened a few presents the turkey was ready to come out of the oven and rest while Chef John and assistants finished off the rest of the meal preparations.

And here's my traditional yearly photo of my Christmas dinner!

The tree looks magical after dark.

Unfortunately I went down with the virus on 27th and spent 36 hours throwing up and rather longer than that with the runs. Ah well, guess that about sums up how this year has been in a way!

At least am beginning to eat again now, though still struggling to get up and down the stairs as rather week and feeble.

Christmas postponed for a day

2007-12-25T20:59:00.000Z

Tree finally got decorated yesterday.

Half the family are sick today. We hope that we can have our Christmas tomorrow. If all else fails I'll have to try and cook the turkey myself. I can probably manage to do that, provided don't have to do all the trimmings. And I do have visitor help available if needed.

We'll see how it goes.

Watched most of Gone with the Wind earlier. There are some truly iconic scenes! The buggy being driven across the flames as Atlanta burns springs to mind.

Happy Christmas!

Santa Claus has just been to town

2007-12-21T20:08:00.000Z

I took this picture of Santa from my bedroom window.

I tried a short video too, quality is awful, but I'm sticking it up as the whole thing really cheered me up. Been having an attack of the Bah Humbugs, which is improving now!

Prize clarification and market research

2007-12-12T10:59:00.000Z

Gosh, a lot of comments on my post about winning £100. I should have been clearer yesterday, but didn't have time to go into too much detail as had to get a bath and light the fire in the living room before Helen and David came round to collect Brodie... Boo hoo, am missing a purring puss-cat leaping onto the bed for morning pampering already!

David spent ages sorting out the desktop computer, and has retrieved all my data. Hip hip hooray! He's taken the Acer away and will remove the hard drive to work on it. Also will try and find the fault... Suspect it's motherboard or chip wrecked by being spattered with G&T. My advice is don't leave an almost empty glass by your computer where you are likely to kick it over in the middle of the night if you happen to be restless!

Anyway, I think it is a genuine win. I am on a few market research panels, and the £100 was from a prize draw for filling in questionnaires. Some panels give points that eventually add up to vouchers for high street or online stores. Some do a mixture of points and prize draws. The prize is from GfK.

And there's also YouGov which pays 50 pence for most of their surveys (can be a little more or less) which sends you a check for £50 when you reach it. They also do a few prize draws too. I've had 2 £50 cheques from them, and am about half way to my next one. Mind you, I've been a member since around 2003, it does take a while to build up enough points to get a cheque! But a useful amount when it comes.

I've also won Amazon vouchers, and currently have a £12 Voucher for CD-Wow waiting to be spent (can't spend it before Christmas as usually get a couple of DVDs or CDs). I find it quite soothing doing online questionnaires, and there's no compulsion to do all of them that arrive in my Inbox. Sometimes I can't be bothered with them, but if I'm having a bad few days it's something to do that isn't too taxing and even brings some small rewards.

Mary, with regard to your comment, there's no need to apologise! I quite understand why you might think that the email was bogus. If I hadn't known where it came from I would have been suspicious too!

I used to enter quite a lot of competitions, but seem to have got out of the habit recently. Mind you, there wasn't a lot of spare time for stuff like that this year! Might get back to doing it, had some nice wins - a DVD recorder, 2 personal organisers, CDs, books, 2 nights for two in a 5* London hotel, though never managed the "ultimate" prize of a car! And it's always exciting when the postman calls - you never know when a LWE (long white envelope) will drop through the door bearing tidings of a win!

If any of my kind readers want to give online comping a go, a good place to begin is the Loquax website. There's also a useful UK newsgroup devoted to comping, uk.rec.competitions. Happy comping folks!

Won a prize!

2007-12-11T12:55:00.000Z

Just going through my email, and find that I have won a cheque for £100! Fantastic - will be able to indulge in some goodies now... Will have to give some thought as to what. How nice to have an excuse to do some cyber shopping!

Brodie looking fetching

Another visit from my friend Brodie

2007-12-11T11:58:00.000Z

My favourate visitor

Brodie has been here for a week now, and he's had a goodly amount of pampering! We had to shut him out of our bedroom overnight as he wants to play at 3am, and we were just getting too tired!

Finally got a card reader for the new computer, hence suddenly can put up photos again. Just need to get back into the habit of taking them.

Hoping to get a bath this afternoon, and then light the fire in the living room - give Brodie a treat. He likes fires. It's a lovely sunny day, really lifts the spirits doesn't it? I'd far rather it bright and chilly than milder but grey and gloomy.

I finally got my IB50 in by the skin of my teeth - had to use Special Delivery. Was very glad I did, as I know it arrived in time. More than the DWP do, as I got a letter from them on Saturday to say I needed to get my form to them urgently. John managed to phone them yesterday, and it's OK, they do have the form. Oddly though they have changed the address it should be sent to on the latest letter. We sent it to Birkenhead, but now they are using Chester instead.

Still slogging away trying to get the new computer more user friendly. Am having some difficulties with installing upgrades that Toshiba say need to be installed. Ah well, will just have to keep on trying.

Think Brodie will be going home this evening. I will miss him enormously, but perhaps he'll come again for a few days soon. I've promised him some turkey-lurkey on Christmas Day, though doubt he will come here to eat it... He associates car drives and cat baskets with nasty things like Vets, so isn't a happy traveller!

New Computer - Urk!

2007-11-28T16:55:00.000Z

I seem to have killed my lovely Acer laptop - am hoping that I can get my data (especially photos) off it. Yes, I know I should have done back ups. But I lost the cables for my external hard drive in 2006, and this year has been so hellish I never got time and energy to search for them.

So I trundle on with a new Toshiba P200-17C. Nice machine, I think I will have fun with it. Eventually.

Very embarrassed to find when I came to pay for it that I couldn't remember my PIN number for credit card. Fortunately John had sufficient available funds to cover it, but I feel really bad that he had to pay for me.

I'm having a few problems with getting Microsoft Vista to do what I want it to. For example, though I have Thunderbird as my default email program, MailWasher keeps opening Microsoft email when I "Process mail" to delete blacklisted and spam email.

Am using a simple work around at the mo - opening Thunderbird after checking and deleting email in Mailwasher, then immediately taking it offline. It's clumsy, and is a pain when emails are in html as you have to go online to see them. I wish all email lists would have a Plain Text Only option!

I'm sure that there's a way to do this better, but I am limited in how fast I can get to grips with new technology. Will be trying to sort it out when I have more time. Had hoped to put off buying a Vista machine for a few more months. But needs must when the devil drives! ;-)

Been offline since 22 November - eek, 6 days with no internet or email!!!

Painful withdrawal, interspersed with trying to get things going again. Read some books! I wonder if I can add a recently read books thingy to the side bar. Must look into that!

I highly recommend "The Executive Brain" by Elkhonon Goldberg. It's going to take me a while to read it right through, but it puts the role of of the frontal lobes of the brain into context. Very interesting, and also accessible for lay people like me.

No photos today, and possibly for a while, as I haven't worked that part of the new machine out yet!

Confusion strikes!

2007-11-14T15:55:00.000Z

Lovely bright chrysanthemums, a gift from our neighbour Pam. She said they are for optimism, that yellow is the colour for that.

Last Friday evening I went to see my Doctor to let her know she is likely to hear from DWP over my IB50. I took a paper with my main symptoms listed, and she was able to give me a copy of the neurologist's report from July 2005. I hadn't managed to get back to my GPs to find out what it said before - as anyone who has been reading regularly knows, Life just kept happening too fast.

Last Wednesday I did something weird to my chest. I was trying to open a bottle of tonic water, couldn't shift it, so was using one of those rubbery grabby sheets (from Lakeland Plastics), which I do find very effective usually. But this bottle was stubborn. I had it gripped in my right hand, while trying to twist the lid off with my left hand... It was clutched tight to my chest.

Suddenly there was a definite "clunk" feeling, it felt as if something had given in the front of my chest. It didn't hurt, it just felt, if you see what I mean. And then I managed to do the same thing (same bottle!) the next day too. By Friday when I saw my Doctor the only pain I had was in my right shoulder (made me yelp going down the stairs when hanging on to the bannisters), so she thought I had probably strained a muscle from the twisting action.

Over the weekend I have had pain over my sternum that has been worsening steadily. It hurts when I turn over in bed, so have had some bad nights. I find that when I walk around the house it helps if I place my hand firmly over my sternum, just gentle pressure. Probably co-incidental, but seem to have a lot of wind at the mo too.

Last night was a particularly bad night, had some vivid dreams, including one very muddled one about Mum and breaking a plate so all the chicken stuffing was lost. (!) Woke in the middle of the night, and watched Griff Rhys Jones' "Mountain" on Snowdonia as couldn't get back to sleep...

Woke up again to hear the News, glanced at clock, 6am, time to call John (He likes to swim before breakfast). Woke him, then fell asleep again. He brought up a pot of tea, went off to swim... Only to re-appear about half an hour later. The pool was shut - I'd misread the clock, and then he did as well. I'd woken him at 5am, not 6am! Think I must still be running on British Summer Time!

Since then I have had two spam phone calls and a call from Wirral Social Services about Mum's Nursing Home bill - they didn't know she had died! They will send a bill to us, and we will pass it on to Mum's solicitor. Heaven only knows when it'll get paid - we don't even have Probate on Dad's Will yet, and that has to be done before work can begin on Mum's.

Everything seems to take forever, not helped by the recent extended postal strike in Liverpool. Meant we weren't getting stuff sent to us, and also we were unable to post anything off. So a lot of papers were stuck here waiting for the strike to end.

Just wish it was all over and done with - I do worry when we get all these bills that we have no money to pay. But guess most of the utilities etc are accustomed to long waits on the death of a customer. We can't be the only folks who have to wait for Probate to get the wherewithall to pay the outstanding bills.

Sorry, bit of a doom and gloom day today. I am hoping to arrange counselling with the person I saw when I first got M.E. Don't think I'm depressed as such, but am not coping too well. Have a tendency to start crying for little reason, and am haunted by the last few weeks of Mum's life. So I got the Counsellor's phone number from my Doc last Friday, but haven't contacted her yet as have been so incapacitated with the strained muscle or whatever it is. Just don't feel up to travelling even locally at the moment.

Still enjoying sunsets from our bedroom window though.

Monday's sunset

Remembrance Day

2007-11-11T10:45:00.000Z

Since I am unlikely to go anywhere to wear my poppy, my computer is wearing it instead.

Last night we watched The Festival of Remembrance from the Royal Albert Hall. When all the poppy petals float down from on high I remember that even when a small child I would think that one of those was for my Uncle Walter. He died in what is now Singapore, after VE day. My Mum was engaged to him, and when she heard that he had died she felt a great need to be with his mother. She arrived at Paddington Station, where Dad met her train. It was the first time they met. So without Walter dying when he did it is unlikely I would be here today.

Antiques Roadshow in Liverpool (and weird week)

2007-11-04T18:30:00.000Z

Queueing for the Antiques Roadshow, St George's Hall, Liverpool

We went to St George's Hall the last time the Antiques Roadshow was in Liverpool. It was a lot of fun, even the queueing, both times. At least I managed to take some photos outside today!

We took a taxi down, as we thought it would be much too difficult to park anywhere particularly close, and I prefer to minimise my wheelchair travel as much as possible... Especially over cobblestones!

Dolphins on the base of a lamp post

When we arrived we noticed the queue was snaking up and over and down the steps in the front of St George's Hall. There was no way that we could manage that with the wheelchair, so John parked me at the bottom of the steps, and went to the back of the queue to ask the folks there to mark a place for us, and we would join behind them when they reached us.

Fun outside St George's Hall

Then someone saw me sitting in the wheelchair and offered their place in the line! They had decided not to wait any more, so decided to be kind to me. We explained we were happy enough to wait, and we didn't want to jump the queue. But the folks behind seemed happy enough for us to take the place of our benefactors, so we went for it.

Shortly afterwards a young chap approached us and asked if we knew that wheelchair users had a special entry, and didn't have to wait. At some point John had been to the front of the queue and asked, to be told that we had to queue like everyone else.

Well, that seemed fair enough to us, other than that we couldn't manage the steps for the queue, but John had sorted that in a way that seemed fair to us. But this young man was insistant, and even went back to check that there was a seperate wheelchair access. Came back to tell us, and accompanied us to the door. (Well, he walked around the outside of the queue, we cut across inside to avoid the cobblestones)

Once inside it was a labyrinth to find the lift! Up to the first floor, along more corridors until we reached the right level. Into the Great Hall, and oh, the ceiling, the stained glass windows, the statues, the marble set behind them, the moulded and coloured roundels - George and the Dragon, Liverpool coat of arms, the Liverbird. Not to mention the amazing chandeliers, suspended from moulded ships prows. I tried to take photos, but sadly the light just wasn't good enough.

Everyone was very kind. When we first entered the Great Hall one of the Roadshow crew fetched us the labels we needed (books, china and miscellaneous) so we were able to begin the individual queuing.

We went for china first, it was a pretty long wait, but in the wonderful surroundings, and with chatting with other folks in the queue, and watching things being set up for filming (suspect will be an item on slavery) the time went pretty fast. A note to self for next time - not a lot of folks took glass.

Followed up with a pretty short queue for Miscellaneous and then a somewhat longer one for Books. John was standing behind me in the Book queue (he had to push the chair) and thinking something along the lines of "there's a lot of people here, bit odd we haven't met anyone we know" and about 30 seconds later someone comes rushing up to me to say Hello!

Margaret, who I used to work with before I got ill. She was a bit surprised to see me in a wheelchair. She said she retired a couple of years ago. I knew exactly who she was, but simply could not remember her name when she greeted us. Think this is cognitive dissonance - Antiques Roadshow and (ex-)work don't mix in my mind. Unexpected juxtaposition.

As for the rest of the week it was all rather awful.

Monday got IB50 (EEEK!), but from Birkenhead not Liverpool, which worried me. Managed to get advice from some folks on email Lists that allayed some of my worries. And John called DWP in Birkenhead on Tuesday and found that dealing with the forms is centralized within areas rather than cities and towns now.

I re-joined the wonderful Benefits and Work. Took a look at their advice on filling IB50 in, and fell asleep...

Next morning (Wed I think) found I'd kicked the dregs of my glass over, splattered keyboard and screen, computer frozen and couldn't re-boot. EEEK again!

Kept trying to re-boot over next few days, finally somehow (not sure how!) managed to get to a screen that let me take the system back to how it was when last working. I am not going to try and install my (perfectly good otherwise) printer on this laptop again, as I think maybe that was the root of the problems.

At least I finished reading 3 books while I couldn't get computer to work.

But don't want to go through that again anytime soon!

Happy happy joy joy!

2007-10-25T19:37:00.000+01:00

The Post is restored in Liverpool! :-) Local mail strike is over. I am beginning to get mail again. Only had boring stuff over the first couple of days post strike, but yesterday the good stuff began to arrive.

Before the postal strike I'd ordered a load of stuff. Including some Birth Certificates. Those arrived yesterday, and it turned out neither were related to me. Ah well, next time I'll try and check details better. Though to be honest, how likely is it to have two unrelated girls in the same town with the same name born within 12 months of each other? Probably common in Wales with a name of Davies!

Today's mail brought a belated (now VERY belated) birthday prezzie for John - "A Pig with Six Legs". To add to his several clouds and weather books.

And a great book on bag making - "making vintage bags".

But best of the bunch is a book of Gustave Dore's London engravings. Absolutely magic while also horrifying. Gothic and dark... And yet some parts of London are recognisable to me.

I think that I've only had around half of my book order so far... More fun to come, can't remember what I ordered now as it's so long ago. Will be fun seeing what arrives over the next few days. I do like getting book parcels! :-)

Spider v Wasp

2007-10-14T20:30:00.000+01:00

John and I were sitting in our bedroom soon after mid day, when I looked out of the window and noticed a wasp had got tangled in the big spider's web outside the middle bay window. The wasp struggled and struggled, but couldn't get free.

Big fat spider comes out to take a look (usually would have appeared much sooner on a tremble of the web) and hung back a bit. Wasp went on struggling, possibly getting stuck down onto the web a bit more... Spider comes a bit closer and stops again, then advances on wasp, which redoubled its efforts and flew away when the spider was only about an inch from it.

Which left me wondering which would have walked away from the encounter if it had happened. Or would both of them ended up dead from stings?

Our Visitor

2007-10-02T20:35:00.000+01:00

Brodie and I have spent a happy day together in bed. Well, me in bed and he shedding fur on the duvet cover. He is a very gentlemanly cat - not a scratcher at all. It's really fun to have a feline friend again. I hope that he enjoys his sojourn with us.

Brodie enjoying a nice rest

We have a Visitor for a few days!

2007-10-02T12:42:00.000+01:00

Bwlchtocyn Nosegay

John went to Abersoch on Sunday to finish stowing the boat ready for winter. He had quite an exciting day, and brought me a little nosegay of flowers from our garden.

He and John managed to get the mast out and remove the ballast. After that he thought he'd go for a little row, as we hadn't managed to get the dinghy back up from the boatyard in August. Rowed round to Porth Bach where it was very quiet and the water was so warm that he went skinny dipping. All in all a good way to celebrate his 62nd birthday!

Lavender

John had driven straight to the beach, and had intended to drive up to the caravan and leave the car there before returning for the dinghy. But he found that the road was closed with the fire brigade and an ambulance in attendance. A very big motor boat was being towed down the hill by a tractor and they had jack-knifed. So John had a chat with one of the rescuers that he knew, and then walked up for some lunch. The driver of the tractor was the only person hurt, but it seems he escaped with minor cuts and bruises - a lucky escape.

Yesterday evening Helen and David came over and treated us to an Indian Takeaway as a late celebration of John's birthday. They are going to stay with a friend in Bristol for the rest of the week, so have left the third member of their household here with us as a visitor for a week.

Brodie

Sort of back here?

2007-09-27T16:49:00.000+01:00

Yesterday evening it was incredibly clear, we could see Snowdon from our bedroom. It always means a lot to me when this happens.

I woke around 4am with the Harvest Moon shining in my face through our bedroom window. I woke John to look at it (not being mean here - he likes to see things like this), but he saw it later on his way for his early morning swim.

Had a bath today. I think this is the first bath I took since the morning of Mum's Funeral. It took me about half an hour. It was great to wallow in warm water, and while doing so I began to think about how would be good to finish off our bathroom... Already broke one tile by opening the window enough to look out and take photos.

It's a real shame, as our bathroom looks great.

Tribute to Mum

2007-09-21T20:45:00.000+01:00

Today was the day of Mum's Funeral. While I hope to write more about the last few days (very busy, very tiring), I wanted to put up my Tribute that I read out at the Funeral.

Rhena Jane

30 October 1917 - 13 September 2007

Mum was born and brought up in Dolgellau, where she lived until she married Dad. She was the third of five children, and she, like the rest of her generation, saw many changes in her lifetime.

As a child she had a candle stub to light herself to bed. She remembered when electicity arrived in Dolgellau, with a grand "turn on" of the street lights.

All her life Mum loved the mountains around her home town. She and her friends would climb Cader Idris on summer nights to watch the sun rise from the summit.

After their marriage Mum and Dad lived in North Harrow, until a merger of the London and Lancashire Insurance Company and Royal Insurance brought them to West Kirby.

Mum and Dad were both sad to leave their home in Harrow, but soon settled in, making many friends. Mum was a very sociable woman, and Dad and I teased her about all the Coffee Mornings she went to!

Mum was a very practical person - she cooked, shopped, washed, ironed, cleaned, gardened, sewed and knitted. She did all the decorating around their homes, even learning to tile the bathroom as it would have been months before anyone was available to do the work for her.

Mum was a wonderful cook, her cakes were fantastice - Butterfly cakes, orange cake, lemon cake, coffee cake, but best of all, chocolate cake, which was my Dad's favourite.

After many happy years in Kingswalk, my parents moved to Spindrift Court, where they enjoyed the views of the River Dee and the marine lake.

Throughout her life Mum continued to return to visit friends and family in her home town. Mum especially loved babies and small children, and took great delight in latter years watching her Welsh nephews* growing up.

When Dad became ill, over 2 years ago, Mum insisted he returned home to Spindrift Court, where she nursed him until he became too poorly for her to manage. Because of her tireless efforts Dad remained in the home he loved with the woman he loved for as long as possible, and we had two further happy family Christmases together.

*should be great-nephews! I got confused,

Long day Friday

2007-09-16T02:27:00.000+01:00

Hamilton Square Gardens, Birkenhead

Friday was a very strange day. We spent hours in the Pyramids Shopping Centre in Birkenhead at one point, killing time. After trundling round for ages on the possibly visually appealing but very uncomfortable paving for a wheelchair user I felt I was beginning to lose the will to live... But at least I got a pair of cheap purple Crocs clones half price, so not entirely wasted!

We spent part of Friday morning making phone calls to arrange appointments. We rang Mum's solicitor, who was out, in Liverpool for the morning. His clerk, of course, knew already - he is also the Coroner.

We left a message for Mr E, Mum's accountant (also out), and will probably speak to him next week sometime. John thinks it was R that he spoke to, who had dreamed Dad had died - I hope he wasn't troubled by dreams this time round. Guess not, as I think he'd have mentioned it as we met him shortly after Dad's funeral.

John rang the Bereavement Office at Arrowe Park Hospital and arranged to collect Mum's effects. Her new slippers, the clothes she was wearing when admitted, and her wedding ring. They gave us the Doctor's cause of death certificate for the Registrar, and a form for the Funeral Directors, to be signed for the release of Mum's body to them. It was different to when Dad died, as he had to have a post mortem, so the Coroner's Office sorted out the medical certificate I think.

We made a provisional appointment with the Registrar (at Birkenhead Town Hall) to register Mum's Death, dependent on the paperwork being faxed from the Coroner by 3.30, or it would have to be Monday.

After the trundle round the Pyramids, and several phone calls to try and get things sorted we went to Posh Nosh Kitchen in Market Street for some lunch. I first heard about them on the Breakfast Liverpool blog. This is our second visit, we ate there the day we went to register Dad's death. I had the Full English Breakfast that time, and it was very good. Very nice to get Ulster Fry as well as black pudding!

All day breakfast, yum!

John had the Full English Breakfast this time, but I went for double egg and chips. The chips were absolutely superb - the best I have had for years. Crisp and golden on the outside, melty potato in the middle, just perfect. Dunked in runny egg yolk, I felt in heaven.

Double egg and chips (one egg nearly eaten already!)

We had the same seats in the window of Posh Nosh as we did last time. I can't believe I didn't notice this picture on the side of a building across the road on the corner of Henry Street before!

John had a couple of calls while we were eating, stepped outside to take them. We still didn't know if the paperwork would get faxed through in time, but after eating we decided to go to the Town Hall anyway in hopes all would be in order by the time of our appointment.

There was a marriage at the Town Hall when we arrived. We were about an hour early for our appointment, so we took a short walk in Hamilton Square. We sat for a few minutes on a bench, but despite the sunshine the wind was a bit chilly, so after taking a few photos we walked back to the car for John to collect the papers we needed, and then on to the Registrar's Office.

Birkenhead Town Hall

It was comforting to see the circle of life, two happy people and their family embarking on life together, as we went to register a death.

At first we were told that the paperwork hadn't come through, but John had had a phone call from Mr J to say he had faxed it through himself since his clerk had gone home. So they checked the fax machine and then told us to go through.

We met the same Registrar as we had when we registered Dad's death. She was very kind, and told us how much she enjoyed the work she did. While she has to record the sad events of life, she also has the happy aspects - birth and marriage - to record. She was looking forward to Saturday when she would officiate at two marriages. Should you read this, thank you A. for being so approachable and helpful - your kindness is much appreciated.

Then it was on to the Funeral Directors, Charles Stephens on Bebington Road, Bromborough, who looked after Dad's funeral. John signed a lot of papers, and we were helped to write Mum's obituary for the both the Welsh and English editions of the Liverpool Daily Post, and the Wirral Globe (freebie paper).

G and J at Charles Stephens were fantastic when we were dealing with Dad's death and arranging the funeral, and I am confident that they will be as incredibly helpful and kind this time around. But I'm sure that they won't mind me saying that I hope I don't have to deal with them again any time soon! ;-)

Dad and Mum on their honeymoon, September 1947.
I think this might be Clovelly?

Note: updated 5 Nov 2007 to add link to Obituaries for Mum and Dad.

End of an Era

2007-09-13T23:45:00.000+01:00

We had a phone call from the hospital to say Mum's breathing had changed around mid day. I didn't manage to take the call as I was in the bath and couldn't get out fast enough. So John took the call at work and then phoned me back.

John came back from work to take me to the hospital.

Mum died shortly before we arrived.

We were able to spend some time with her, and everyone was very kind. I talked to her, and stroked her forehead. I told her again that I love her. I know that it may sound silly to some folks, but it made me feel better to talk to her.

We then entered the more surreal part, but don't feel up to writing about that just now.

When we got home John spent a long time phoning family and friends.

I guess the best way to describe how I feel is numb.

Just a sad update

2007-09-12T13:36:00.000+01:00

A tiny wind and tide tossed sailing boat on the River Mersey

We spotted this little boat on Saturday on our way over to Arrowe Park Hospital. This makes me think a bit of our situation - there's that tiny boat out there on a huge river, battling on through the waves. Wind against Tide makes for rough water.

Wednesday last week after observing Mum on the Clinical Decision Unit over the previous 2 days she was moved to a ward and has been put onto the Liverpool Care Path for the Dying (LCP). They found that she had both lung and urinary tract infections, so had her on a ?saline drip and also intravenous antibiotics. They kept her on these (which they started while were there on the Monday Mum was admitted) for another 36 hours to see if she showed any signs of improving.

The first we knew that Mum was on the LCP was on Wednesday when John and Helen visited, but I didn't go. John went to the hospital this Monday, as nobody had really told us much about how things had proceded. I think we were too shocked by how suddenly and fast it all happened to ask before.

We've visited most days since Mum went onto the LCP (though I had a day off Monday as so exhausted by all the travelling), and we sit and chat about what's happening with the family news, and reminisce about past times.

One day we even had a bit of a sing song with the lady in the next bed!

To be honest I doubt that Mum can hear us any more as she's on so much medication (given via a pump) and looks as if she's sleeping. Every day when we phone we get the same message, which can be summed up as: "She had a comfortable night, no change."

John was back in work yesterday for the first day since (I think) last Wednesday - we just can't plan anything, it all feels so awful. We're just waiting for Mum to die, makes me feel rather like a circling vulture.

We went over yesterday evening, but only stayed about 20 minutes. I was able to stroke Mum's forehead and tell her again that I love her. While I have actively disliked Mum on numerous occasions, she is still my Mummy who was my world when I was a little girl. The love was still there.

John phoned Norah, one of Mum's oldest friends the other day to tell her what was going on. Her response was that she thought it was good that Mum was finally getting some respite, that her recent life wasn't at all what she wanted.

I think both John and myself felt better for hearing that. Norah has been a tower of strength and help when things were awful around the time John began to use Dad's Enduring Power of Attorney and Mum was rampaging up and down to the banks and accusing them (and us) of all sorts.

It may sound silly, but I can't bring myself to begin thinking of the F word yet. We both still have a feeling that Mum will suddenly sit up in bed and demand a cup of tea and some pink ice cream.

Nothing seems very real at the mo, and I've had a couple of really bad episodes of depersonalisation that have freaked me out somewhat. Finding it very difficult to eat anything, and frequently not sleeping very well either.

But slept 12 hours straight last night, so am feeling somewhat better today. And the sun's shining too, so that always helps.

Mum is very ill

2007-09-06T01:19:00.000+01:00

We had a phone call on Monday from Mum's nursing home to say that she had been admitted to hospital. We went to the hospital and spent about 6 hours there with her.

Tuesday John and I had solicitor meeting arranged in the afternoon, and then went on to see my parents' accountant. Helen went to visit Mum. Who was initially agitated, but then calmed down and Helen held her hand.

This evening Helen and John went over to the hospital. They are giving Mum final care, trying to keep her comfortable. We can visit any time. Hope I can get early bath so we can get over early in the morning.

Hospital will call us any time if there's a change.

Mersey Tunnel ventilator building

Message from?

2007-08-31T17:31:00.000+01:00

Sunset at Bwlchtocyn

Dad died on a Saturday night, so we couldn't access any of the professionals that are concerned until the Monday. John's first call on the Monday morning was to my parents Solicitor - he and John are joint Executors.

After that John called my parents accountant, Mr E. He has been more than just a professional over the last few years - Mum has been taking her letters into the office to be read to her since her sight got really bad. He has been a friend to my parents.

John told Mr E. that Dad had died on Saturday. There was something of a silence, and then Mr E. said... "You may not believe this, but my clerk R. came in to see me this morning and told me he'd dreamed Mr Mills (Dad) had died over the weekend".

Which makes sense to me - if Dad was going to try and contact us from the Great Beyond, it would be typical for him to make contact through his Accountants.

It went on after too. John didn't have anything fit to wear for a funeral, his only suit was a horrid one bought cheap years ago for work. I was convinced we'd hit lucky in our local Oxfam shop. And we did - perfect fitting suit (even the sleeves fitted - usually much too short), nice white shirt also, and a great tie.

And there was a very elegant navy hat that perfectly matched the navy suit I planned to wear...

Plus we got parking space right outside the shoe shop in The Crescent (practically unheard of!) when we went to buy new slippers for Mum. Conveniently close the the butcher too, Roberts, where we bought a lump of beef to roast (it was delicious and tender).

So I felt looked after, that someone was making sure that we found what we needed when we needed. I realise that may sound odd to some folks, but I'm sure others may recognise this happening in their own lives sometimes.

Dad's funeral was on a Thursday afternoon in St Bridget's Church, West Kirby. It was a perfect summer day, with fluffy white clouds in a blue sky, and the swallows flying overhead. There were red and white roses and pink lilies on his coffin. It was peaceful walking behind the coffin through the churchyard and into the Church.

I hadn't been sure I'd be able to manage to read my Tribute (especially after shaking badly throughout the first hymn), but John was standing by to take over if need be, and Sarah helped me up the 3 steps. So I managed. Sarah helped me back to my seat, then returned to the pulpit to give her own Tribute on behalf of herself and Helen.

Afterwards a few of us went to the Crematorium for the Committal. Then we met up with the rest of our party at The Basset Hound for buffet and drinks. We had a tab on the bar for the party, as we felt Dad was always generous when entertaining his friends and family, and he enjoyed a tipple himself. ;-)

The Funeral Directors sent a car to fetch Mum from the nursing home with a nurse to help her, and Sarah travelled with her to keep her company too. We didn't know if she'd be able to cope with the whole of the day, but she managed both the Crematorium and the reception after as well as the funeral. John and Sarah took her and her nurse back to the nursing home when Mum began to show signs of being tired.

When they got back to the pub we had another round of drinks, just the closest family (including John's Mum, Mary).

This is all old news now, but I wanted to make a record for myself.

Here's a couple of recent photos of my favourite city.

St Nicholas Church

Atlantic Tower, RoyalSunAlliance building (to let) and that big tall building that I haven't found the name of yet. It's very striking, even more so seen from Birkenhead. That top penthouse must have fantastic views!

Went fishing...

2007-08-20T23:53:00.000+01:00

Well, not exactly, but we did make it to Abersoch for a week.

The agapanthus only had 3 flowers this year, and John managed to knock off a flower head while on a mad snail and slug hunt amongst its leaves. Sarah (elder daughter) said it was a casualty of war. ;-)

Took a pile of knitting but mislaid the bag till packing to come back home. Ah well! Spent more or less the whole week in a nest of our double down and feather duvet on the bunk with the best view of the field and read some books.

The garden hasn't done too well, though we did have some plants survive. But I didn't get to trim the brambles choking the shrubs beside the shed - next time hopefully! Which we hope won't be too much later, maybe mid September, time will tell I guess.

The lily got chewed by bunnies I think, but badly snail or slug damaged too. The leaves you see in the background are the agapanthus. The lily still smelled wonderful, and I took some time to smell the flowers.

John and "the kids" went sailing, and friends and relations called, all good fun but I slept through vast amounts of fun. I was just really shattered.

It's going to take me a while to catch up, have a lot of stuff I want to think about and then write about. Still not really got to grips with everything that's happened.

Tributes to Dad

2007-08-10T17:29:00.000+01:00

Tribute to Dad

Dad was not a demonstrative man, but throughout the time that I have known him as his daughter he has made clear by all his actions that his Family were the most important thing in his life. He loved my Mum for over 60 years, and they were just short of their Diamond Wedding Anniversary.

Dad and Mum on their honeymoon

I only ever saw Dad cry once, and that was when he visited me in Oxford Road Maternity Hospital just after I had Sarah. He took one look at her, and his eyes filled, he was just so happy to see his first grand daughter.

When our girls were small (and sometimes grubby!) Dad and Mum made sure we always had a working washing machine, and were generous helping out with extras like school trips and holidays. Dad was very proud of his grand daughters and their achievements, and took great pleasure watching them grow from tiny tots to the people they are today.

The definition of a Cockney is "born within the sound of Bow Bells". That made Dad a Cockney, though he was far from the popular conception of such. He loved London, and had many memories of it. He remembered as a child being driven in Hansom Cabs, and also 4 wheeled horse-drawn cabs or "Growlers" with his Grandfather Mason. His Grandfather would always take a horse-drawn cab when possible, as living was hard for horse-drawn cab drivers with the advent of the Omnibus and motor car.

One of my first memories is from 1952. Dad and Mum took me to London to see the Coronation Lights. They thought it would be something that I would remember for the rest of my life. I have no memory of the lights whatsoever. But what I do remember is sitting on Dad's shoulders, feeling safe and secure, and looking around at a sea of heads surrounding us. I had never seen so many people at once before.

Dad on his motorbike in Egypt in the War (WWII)

As a little girl I loved to hear stories of Dad's time in the Army during the war. He told me of taking tea with the Bedouins while stationed in Cairo, when a goat was milked directly into the cup before the tea was poured into it. He adopted a homeless kitten when he was stationed in Gloucestershire, called it Putten, and fed it milk with a fountain pen filler. When he had to return overseas he managed to persuade the Cook to adopt Putten. Even then he knew how best to look after his "family"!

Recently he enjoyed reminiscing about the Farewell Dinner for the Sergeant's Mess of the 712th Company of the Royal Army Service Corps - British Army of the Occupation of the Rhineland, held in The Vaux Hall Club , Brussels on the 12 Jan 1946. He kept the menu, signed by all present, and a photo. Taken at the end of the meal, all look very cheerful, all are smiling, but I think Dad's grin is the broadest of all of them. It must have been a very special meal.

Dad enjoyed stamp collecting, specialising for many years in Disaster Covers, with a particular interest in Air Mail. He told me about Zeppelins, showing me a crumpled piece of metal that came from a crashed Zeppelin. He also had some rather more light-hearted Disaster Covers - as a child I was particularly fond of the one that was "Damaged by snails".

For Dad, stamp collecting wasn't the solitary occupation that it is perceived as by many. He went to meetings, made friends with fellow enthusiasts, and corresponded with collectors all over the world. He liked to combine interests. He loved the mountains and estuaries around Mum's Home Town of Dolgellau. He was very fond of steam trains. Add those to stamps and you get the Talyllyn Railway. He wrote an article "The Talyllyn Railway and its Stamps" which was published in The Stamp Magazine in July 1961

Dad posing with Rameses II

Dad loved to travel, and he re-visited some of his war-time haunts in Egypt with Mum, as well as visiting Turkey long before it became apopular tourist destination. They cruised up the Fjiords of Norway to see the midnight sun, and crossed the Atlantic to visit friends and family in Canada.

Dad on a camel in Egypt in the 80s, think might be at Petra?

But I think he best loved to visit the the mountains and valleys around Dolgellau with Mum. They visited every year until recently, enjoying time with my Uncle Glyn's family and Mum's old friends. Dad was very proud of his certicate proving he had mined for gold underground at Gwynfynydd Gold Mine in 1994.

Last week one of Dad's friends and work collegues commented to me that Dad could look quite sombre some of the time, but then his face would light up and come alive when he smiled. Dad retained his sense of humour to the end. I last spoke to him the day before his last birthday. We reminded him it was his birthday the following day, and I teased "21 again?"

"23, actually" was his reply.

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Sarah's Tribute

To Helen and I, John was always Grandpa. When we were little, we often went to stay in West Kirby in with Ninny & Grandpa, and Grandpa was in charge of games and keeping us amused whenever possible. We played board games, cards, and Bagatelle whenever we couldn’t be outside, but mostly we enjoyed running around in the garden and setting ‘records’ to be recorded in the little notebook that Grandpa called the ‘record book’. One of our other favourite games was to offer him a piece of decorative plastic fruit and then run around laughing when he pretended to try and take a bite.

Grandpa was always kind and generous to Helen and I, helping us out with pocket money so that we could go on school trips and then again at university. He encouraged us to broaden our horizons. He would tell us about the travelling that he had done, both in the war and then since he had retired with Ninny. Grandpa loved Wales and its history, and he loved to get out to Dolgellau and into the mountains. When I was very small I remember being taken to Bala for the day for a picnic with them.

Helen and I have both done our own bits and pieces of travelling, partly inspired by Grandpa making us believe that it was possible. In fact, Helen has been as far as a round the world trip.

Helen and I were both aware of Grandpa’s love of good food from a very early age. Whenever we drew a birthday card for him, it would nearly always show a big chocolate cake. Ninny & Grandpa loved to eat out together, and even when we were very little they took us out and taught us which spoon to use for what. This helped us to have confidence in different situations as we’ve both grown up. Grandpa always enjoyed going out for a meal with us all, and seeing us all dressed up and smart for the occasion to have a good time.

Grandpa was always keen to hear about our academic achievements, and he was always supportive of the career choices that we made. He told us a bit about his professional life, working in London, and working with computers back in the early days. I think that he was proud that we both went to university and then managed to support ourselves since then. We are both very grateful to him for his help and encouragement to us to do our best with our studies and continue them.

Grandpa helped Helen and I to learn manners, politeness, and respect for other people. We will both miss him, and miss having an excuse to get giant chocolate cakes for him. We remember him as a kind and good person who always wanted to do the right thing for his family and friends.

Funeral Day

2007-08-09T09:23:00.000+01:00

John W. Mills

23 July 1918 - 28 July 2007

My Dad

2007-08-08T23:55:00.000+01:00

I was looking through some of my parents old photo albums the other day, when I came across some colour negatives. This was really quite amazing, as mostly they destroyed all negatives. So John took them down to Max Spielman in Richmond Street, and they put them onto CD for us. There are a number of pictures of interiors of the house they lived in before moving to the flat (the calender in the kitchen says June 1985), and several of the girls.

And two really super photos of Dad. This one is the nicest one of him that I've seen - you can see the twinkle in his eyes.

Proud Grandpa

Just a quick update

2007-08-01T21:28:00.000+01:00

My Dad was taken into hospital on Saturday afternoon with a chest infection, and died peacefully in the evening about 8pm. Our younger daughter Helen, John and myself were with him. We are sad, but happy that he did not appear to be in any pain.

I'm not sure when I'll be updating for a while - we have so much to arrange in a short time.

Parents re-united hopefully

2007-07-27T19:47:00.000+01:00

This evening John has driven over to fetch Dad from the Nursing Home he was in to take him to the Nursing Home where Mum is. We hope getting them back together will be better for them both. We did manage to ask (with some difficulty) if that's what they want, and they do. Time will tell. It's a six week trial at the mo to see if it works out for both them and the nursing home.

I am still washing clothes and sewing labels in. I am cheating and just using a laundry marker when there's some sort of tag I can write on. I find the stitching hard work, and it's making my eyes feel googley. It feels rather like getting clothes together for a school trip or Guide Camp. Very strange.

Popped out into the yard earlier and pruned the Mock Orange quite viciously. But it began to rain again while I was out there, so I may have to try and make sure I've been vicious enough! Wanted to be sure I got it done before we go on holiday - though still not sure when/if we'll get away.

No photos today as all the ones I had on the card got degraded and undownloadable. :-( Not sure why, but maybe magnetised sewing stuff when I was bringing it back from the flat. Stupidly I put it in my handbag with the camera - I am not thinking straight at all at present. I had to reformat the card but it seems to be working now. Touch wood!

I have been tagged, but will have to come back to that later. It's so long since I posted I've been getting cold feet about posting anything. So much has happened over the last few weeks that I feel I haven't even caught up with most of it myself.

Thanks for all comments, I really appreciate them. I wish I could reply to each comment, but at the moment "Life" is just happening too much.

Mainly some pictures

2007-07-08T23:21:00.000+01:00

Agapanthus

We visited both Mum and Dad yesterday. Then went on to the flat, dropped off Mum's clothes that I brought home and washed last week, and packed a suitcase full of more stuff to wash. John thought to stick on the TV while we were there, so we managed to see Spinal Tap on the Big Concert.

The sock is still growing. It's far too big for Mum, but I think will make a very comfortable bed sock for her. Cosy and soft, and easy to put on, but enough gentle grip from the ribbing..

These needles are for a mystery project (for now). But I was struck by how close they are in size to a pencil... I wonder if it would be cheaper to buy 5 pencils and sharpen both ends. ;-) Would have to cap or cover the lead. I'm really looking forward to knitting on these!

We are both so tired we can barely think, but John cooked us roast beef (from the Woolton Butcher) with Yorkshire puddings, roasties, peas and butter beans. And gravy of course, plus horseradish sauce. It was really tasty. Hopefully liver and bacon with fried onions in gravy tomorrow.

Oh, and we had a fantastic breakfast. Mary (Mum in Law, just had a two week holiday on the Isle of Man) brought us some Manx smoked kippers so we had a kipper and tomato bake with fried leftover boiled potatoes. We planned to have the Kippers Florentine for breakfast tomorrow, but John forgot to get the spinach. Maybe Tuesday!

I'm still thinking about the visits on Saturday. And feeling about them.

Agapanthus and other stuff

2007-07-05T20:18:00.000+01:00

I sneaked out between showers to take some photos of my Agapanthus. It's exciting to me as I grew this plant from seed from our Abersoch Agapanthus. And this is the first year to get flowers.

John just phoned to say Mum hasn't been assessed yet. According to the nursing staff at the hospital. It does make life even more difficult when you get different messages from different agencies. So I guess we're back to waiting to know what the hell is going on again.

I shall keep knitting, and probably adding to the yarn stash as a stress busting technique. ;-) Have my eye on several nice skeins of yarn! But must be sensible! But not too sensible!

Latest news is depressing but the sock begins to look good!

2007-07-05T15:19:00.001+01:00

John phoned soon after 1pm to say he finally managed to speak to Dr S' (Mum's consultant) secretary. She told him Mum has been labelled (can't think of the official word just now - classified?) EMI (Elderly Mentally Infirm). So she can't go to the same nursing home as Dad, unless we can find a home that is dual registered - both Nursing and EMI.

God(dess) knows what will happen now, but it's probably going to be both a lot of physical and mental work, accompanied by much soul searching and angst.

At least I've made a start on washing Mum's clothes, now must order name tags (handy hint from a nice lady called Ann we met on the flat's car park just over a week ago) and start sewing them into her clothes.

Meanwhile the knitting continues.

My gauge/tension is badly off, it's supposed to be 26 stitches to 10 cm, and I am getting 24. So the sock is larger than it should be, but I'm not going to frog it now, unless I make a major mistake. Supremely possible!

Roadworks

2007-07-03T14:38:00.000+01:00

They are digging up the road right beneath our bedroom window as I type this. The noise is unbelievable, hope it doesn't go on for long. Ah well, most of the rest of Liverpool is a building site, so why should things be different for me.

I've seen both Mum and Dad a couple of times since I last wrote here. Mum is behaving as bizarrely as ever, Sunday she hardly noticed we were there once we had made it clear we weren't taking her home. She went and talked to the lady in the bed opposite, she seemed to think they were related.

The week before she refused to say Hello to John, and after barely acknowledging me said "I hope you're feeling guilty". I replied "I've nothing to feel guilty about, Mum."

"What about how you treated your sister?" (I'm an only child) She keeps insisting her father is alive, and when John asked last week if she'd like to visit her husband she said "I don't have a husband".

So we left before visiting time finished, and went to see Dad. He had only returned to the nursing home on Saturday after a week in hospital being treated for pneumonia. At least Mum had a few visits with him while he was in. He was very tired, so we chatted for about half an hour and then he asked to lie down (they had to bring in a hoist to move him to the bed) and went to sleep. So we left then.

On to the flat, where I sorted some of Mum's clothes to bring home and wash. I did the first batch of washing yesterday, it's a bit damp still, but if John takes it back to the flat this evening after visiting Dad I guess he could hang it up to air there. Next load is in the machine now, so hopefully will be ready to take back on Thursday.

Mostly it's been too wet to get out into the garden much. But I can report that the flower on my agapanthus grown from seed has begun to open. I haven't got a picture of it open yet though (been too wet when I've had both the time and the energy recently), but here it is about a week ago.

Not done much knitting since I last posted. I cast off half the stitches on my sock swatch bag (this is the stage in the photo, the needle poked through the body of the bag is just to stop the edge curling), and have continued on the rest to make a flap. I'm not enormously pleased with it, so think I might rip out the flap. But I'm going to think about it for a while, so the ten remaining stitches are languishing on a stitch holder until I make my mind up!

It's quite fun trying to decide how to proceed. Currently I'm thinking of edging the flap with garter stitch, but I don't want to rush at it this time! I've found the perfect button for the bag, so I'm sure I'll get going on it again soon.

I finally ordered a swift which arrived last Wednesday, but it took me till yesterday to get organised enough to try it out. So I wound my first cake of yarn (artesano alpaca hummingbird, colour Lovebird) yesterday evening, and I think it looks very pretty. Will be casting on this evening I hope!

Thank you everyone who has left comments. I am finding life quite difficult at the moment, so mostly don't have time to reply, or to leave comments on other blogs. Mum is to be assessed soon for discharge. Obviously I am rather worried about it all. And the emotional upsets are taking their toll on my energy levels and capability to get stuff done. It is all just so utterly draining.

Friday around 4.30pm John had a phone call from a social worker (they always seem to ring around 5 on a Friday, rather like DWP and DLA stuff always arrives in Saturday's post), saying that a psychiatrist would see Mum on Monday, but we haven't managed to find out anything about that yet. The nurses we spoke to on Saturday didn't know anything about it. We are waiting to hear from her consultant's secretary, who John contacted yesterday. The staff on the ward aren't allowed to tell you anything over the phone (apart from a brief "bulletin") because of the Data Protection Act.

This is what I had for lunch today.

Comfort Food

Hospital visit

2007-06-24T13:05:00.000+01:00

We're planning on visiting Mum this afternoon. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. Spare us a thought around 3pm!

John phoned the hospital around 4pm yesterday to say we wouldn't be visiting, but would be coming today. Was somewhat disconcerted to have the phone handed to Mum. She just said "don't bother".

Nurses say she is getting around better. I foresee trouble.

We may go on and visit Dad afterwards. Depends how we feel when the time comes.

A selection of some of the junk on our bed. Not much room for us!

Yesss!!! Sock needles!!!

2007-06-23T16:26:00.000+01:00

Earlier today I left a comment on Jane's Probably Knitting which I copy part of here:

"Thanks for dropping by, and thank you very much for your kind offer of sock needles. I've ordered some 2.25 bamboos from Get Knitted. The thing is I KNOW I have loads of sock needles. I can even see the bag they are in with my minds eye (it's black felt with different coloured polka dots embroidered on it and it has a gold sort of brocadey lining) but so far I can't find the safe place I put it in! Will have to search a few more boxes later."

Went to search my so-called work-room (hmm, should post pics of that one of these days - if I can manage to fight my way in through the door!) and actually FOUND the bag of knitting needles. Here it is.

And, as I thought, there are several sizes of sock needles in it. As well as lots of other ones, mix of metal and plastic. These are the short other ones - the long knitting needles are in a wrap. There's also some free gift crochet hooks. I haven't tried crochet since I was expecting Sarah (now 29) so I kinda doubt these will get much use other than hooking up ladders in knitting. But then who knows? Crafts sneak up behind you and bite you and that's it. Rather vampire like in a way!

Have half a feeling I've got yet another stash of knitting needles. Had a load come in a workbasket full of random stuff from eBay a couple of years ago. Maybe I left them at the caravan at the end of last season.

Other thing I discovered was a practically finished WIP from around 17 years ago!!! I even have the circular needle that I need to do the neck band and sleeve bands. Will have to take a good look at this tomorrow (or any time I actually have a brain cell working), with a view to finishing it. Just hope I can knit to the same tension all these years later!!!

The knitting looks out of focus, but it isn't. The yarn is scheepjeswol Voluma - 15% kid mohair, so has a kind of haze around it. Otherwise it's acrylic, and it says it's machine washable.

I still like the colours a lot, and I wear a lot of sleeveless or short sleeved sweaters. I really overheat otherwise. Though my feet can still be two little blocks of ice at the same time, which is why I definitely need more wooly socks! Good excuse anyway!

Midsummer???

2007-06-22T19:01:00.000+01:00

We seem to have had a lot of rain again. But I got photos in the yard yesterday and the day before between showers. Today the camera batteries went flat after only a few snapshots, and the torrential rain started before I could swap them for a freshly charged set.

The so-called sock swatch has grown somewhat, though I haven't worked on it today. I'm thinking of making it into a small bag. I hate casting on so much that I couldn't bear to rip this out even when I knew it was wrong for socks.

It's been one of those days when everyone seems to decide to phone me, or I have to phone people. First came a spam phone call trying to sell me something. Then I had to phone my bank to turn on my new debit card. Then I had to phone Figleaves.com to explain why my card didn't work and give them the new number. Then Sarah rang to say the hot water at the caravan had been fixed. Then John phoned (twice!). And then Herby came round.

Am knackered now!

Yesterday...

2007-06-20T16:56:00.000+01:00

Peace Rose

Was shattered after the meeting with Mum's consultant and the journey there and back on Monday. We had a number of family (and one friend) phone calls to make after it. I spent most of yesterday in bed, just going out with the camera to get some photos of the plants and flowers in our garden.

Fern fronds uncoiling

Mum's consultant was very helpful and informative, and didn't pull any punches. He said that the physiotherapists might get in touch with us, either when we visit (unlikely as we're only going at weekends or evenings) or maybe by phone. Mum has been refusing to walk with the Physios, will only walk with the nurses.

We have a lot to think about, but Mum will be observed for another couple of weeks. So we have a little calm before the (possible) storm. So I am making the effort to go out into the yard every day (unless it's really chucking it down of course!) to take photos of the flowers.

Lilies - this pot full is doing better than the other pest wise for some reason. Suspect it gets a bit more sun. John picked a load of snails off the lilies this morning, brought out by the thundery rain yesterday evening I expect.

Haven't managed to catch any photos of the insects yet! We've been getting loads of bees in the campanula, if we get a day warm enough to sit out for a while I hope I can catch a few pictures.

Campanula growing amidst the variegated ivy

John's caught two mouses in the kitchen, but clear 2 nights now I think. So we'll set the trap in the yard again just in case there's still a nest out there. Then I suppose we should set in the shed (just in case). I think we're in the market for half a dozen mousetraps!

Pink strawberry flowers

Come the evening I leaned out of the bathroom window and took yard photos from the first floor (think that will be second floor for any US readers? cos our Ground Floor is your first floor? confused in Liverpool!)

You can see the width of the end of the yard, and that shiny crinkly stuff in the extreme lower left corner is the corrugated plastic roof on the corner of our (lean to) shed.

This one shows from the kitchen steps down into the yard and to the back wall looking almost straight down from the bathroom window. Every time I write that I think of the Beatles - "She came in through the bathroom window..." The purple monstrosity is our wheelie bin. At least it gives us a high up surface to keep my day lily seedlings on!

These are the lilies seen from the bathroom window.

And here's my favourite photo, the Peace Rose from above - I love the sort of spirally pattern in the middle. And the colours. And it's beautiful scent.

Sad, angry, confused

2007-06-18T23:43:00.000+01:00

but happy to get a picture on way to hospital to see Mum's Consultant.

This and that

2007-06-18T12:58:00.000+01:00

Thought I was getting RSI as have pain in right hand. But now I notice a bruise erupting. No idea what I've done to my hand, but I always seem to be walking into things, so probably I just hit it and didn't notice.

Some more nice yarn came from Get Knitted last week. There was another Get Knitted pen, so John is happy as he has his own now and doesn't have to keep filching mine. They are really good writers, unlike the majority of ball point pens in the house. Also a fruit pop lollipop, which I have an idea for.

I thought I might makes some socks for Mum from the multicoloured alpaca. The purple I obviously had something in mind for Sarah, but I've forgotten what. Another time I must make a note of what I was thinking of doing!

Was going to order a swift and some more yarn, but with my debit card stopped it would mean using credit card which I am not keen to do. Just hope the new card arrives soon!

I've started swatching the Trekking, but the needles are too big for it, giving too loose a fabric. But I'm keeping going for now as I thought I might make a small bag with it so as not to waste all that effort. I'm really enjoying the colour changes, the resulting fabric positively glows, though my photo doesn't really do it justice.

It's on 3mm dpns, so will try 2.5 next, unless I can find some smaller ones in my stash of needles that came from Auntie Gertie. That's if I can actually lay my hands on my needle bag at all - the room that is supposed to be my "workroom" is so crammed with stuff it's hard to find anything!

This afternoon we have an appointment with Mum's consultant. John swapped shifts so is working 7-3 today so we have time to get to the hospital for 4.30. I am dreading the meeting.

Rose and more flowers

2007-06-17T21:27:00.001+01:00

The second bloom of the year is opening on the Peace Rose.

I'm really excited and looking forward to seeing the flowers that emerge from this bud. It's the first flower from plants from seed that came from the first flowers on the Abersoch agapanthus. Urk, that's a really badly formed sentence!

The yard is full of flowers, overflowing. Lovely to clamber down the steps and look at the colour and enjoy.

There are a couple of campion plants that hitched a lift back from the caravan. It would be lovely if they got established in the yard.

We have a variegated ivy growing on the yard walls, and the campanula has seeded itself amongst it. I love to see plants breaking away from the "flower beds" and escape into other environments. We have a few escapees of the campanula on the outside of our walls too.

This is one of my favourite plants - Felicia. We brought this back from the caravan last year, to give it a break from the marauding bunnies. Love the colour of the flowers combined with the variegated leaves.

On the knitting front I'm swatching at the mo. No pictures as it's all a bit of a mess. Maybe tomorrow!

Peace rose is a bit ragged on its outer petals, but these will be hidden as the flower opens fully.

Mouses in houses

2007-06-15T16:45:00.000+01:00

We saw a mouse in the yard on Sunday, so John borrowed next-door's trap. Result was bagged and put into the bin. Today I went down to the kitchen at lunchtime. Heard clickety click claws and caught it moving from the corner of my eye. We will be setting the trap inside for a few nights, and then outside again. Time to get our own trap I suspect.

I have a rat trying to get at my bank account from what I hear. My debit card is now stopped. It will take 7-10 days for new card to arrive. So no shopping for me for a few days. ;-)

Something's eating the lilies too.

Sometimes Fridays just aren't good days.

Bad influence

2007-06-14T21:18:00.000+01:00

Dovegreyreader is a very bad influence on me. She writes about books I immediately want to read. Here's a small selection I took a picture of today.

Dear DGR, please keep on reviewing, I'm having fun reading your recommendations. Husband just finished Mrs Duberly's War, and thought it was great. I finally get to read it! He filched it about 2 days after it arrived here, ho hum, guess that's married life! ;-)

Heron and yard

2007-06-14T17:39:00.000+01:00

Lilies are flowering

John went swimming early, after he left I looked out the window and saw a heron flying riverward.

The iris is over now, but here's a photo of it in its prime.

Had two nice parcels today, but not got photos yet.

Hint - reading and knitting. ;-)

Stupid teenagers

2007-06-07T17:01:00.000+01:00

I've had to make a lot of phone calls today. After a long (but nice) chat with Mary (Ma-in-Law) I realised that my feet were absolutely freezing, so I came back upstairs and climbed under the bed covers to try and warm my feet up a bit.

For this to make sense you need to know that I live on a busy but narrow road, we have constant traffic, and lots of nee-naws, both med and police.

About 4.15pm there was something of a racket outside, with some laughter. I don't know quite why I bothered, but something disturbed me about it. I staggered to the window and looked down on 3 teenage boys (14? 15?) pointing up the hill and laughing.

I looked up the hill, and saw one lad catching another by the throat from behind, and then throwing him to the ground, very close to the kerb, between that and my neighbour's car (we have special dispensation to park on the pavement here for what you might term historical reasons). The other 3 lads were laughing.

The attacker then kicked the grounded lad in the small of his back at least twice and then looked as if he was about to punch him in the head. By then I had the window open, smacked it hard several times to get their attention, and yelled at them out of the window. They slouched off round the corner, but I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't shouted.

Four stupid kids, and seems the fifth wasn't much less stupid, as he got up and walked off with the rest.

I wonder if I should contact the local schools. Apart from feeling the attack looked quite murderous, if they were just "messing about" it really isn't safe to do it that close (we're talking about 6inches from the edge of the road here) to the road, certainly not on such a busy road as this.

Mostly I try and stay out of situations like this, but I was scared that kid was going to be seriously injured or worse. And that's why I shouted. But they know where I live. Suspect there may be ongoing problems from this.

Mum admitted to hospital

2007-06-05T11:58:00.000+01:00

Did a bit of gardening today, here's my view of the yard from my seat in the corner.

Mum rang early yesterday morning (7.30am), complaining the pain was very bad and wanting John to go over to let the doctor in. John is working full time, so said he couldn't. "Why can't Margaret come over?" I've been disabled for 15 years, and at present I can't drive either.

Mum has never accepted that I am disabled, we presume she thinks I'm just lazy. But the truth of the matter is I can't even look after myself properly on a day to day basis, so I certainly can't look after anyone who needs physical help.

Lunchtime I had a phone call from one of Mum's GPs. He was concerned that she needed more help than she was getting. I told him that we were concerned too, that we'd visited on Sunday. I also told him that John works full time and I'm disabled myself, so it's not really possible for us to do more to help than we've been doing.

And that Mum was assessed by Social Services when Dad went into hospital, but had refused all the help that was suggested and offered. I don't want my parents' GPs thinking we're uncaring - just the way things are - we are overwhelmed at the moment.

Mum was to be admitted to hospital for assessment. She needs to be encouraged to be more mobile despite the back pain, or she is likely to lose her mobility. The GP recognised that she isn't coping well alone, but I wonder if he realises quite how fast she has lost that ability.

He admitted he didn't really know her, this was only the second time he's seen her. And since he did a home visit it's possible he wasn't able to access her notes before the visit - I imagine it was taken as being relatively urgent (not actually life-threatening, but high pain levels). I also asked if she had mentioned seeing people in the flat - he said she had, but was oriented. John's written the surgery twice about this, but we have no idea if they have had the letters or done anything about it.

I worry Mum may be suffering from depression, reaction to everything that's happened since mid February.

John phoned the hospital soon after he got in from work yesterday, around 6pm. Mum had only been admitted a bit after 5 so was on the Clinical Decisions Unit. We had a brief meal and he headed over to the hospital. They will keep her in overnight, and intend to do back and hip X-rays. They also think she's maybe dehydrated so are setting up a drip. John was there when the doc came to see Mum.

I phoned this morning about 11.30. Not a lot of news, but was able to ask them to tell Mum I'd called. They say she will be moved some time today, but don't know when or where yet. Am leaving it for John to call when he gets in from work.

Spent some time sitting in the back yard under the parasol and watching the insects. And planning and plotting what most needs doing in terms of potting on, moving plants and so on.

Later

John called the hospital this evening when he got in from work. Mum has been transferred to a different ward. He managed to get through to them, and they will tell her he rang and sends love from us both. Her X-rays are fine, no breaks. John will visit tomorrow, am hoping to go too, but will have to wait and see how things are when the time comes.

I think this bud is an iris. Need to split the plant when it's finished flowering. Would love to get some of these established at the caravan.

The first Peace rose is over now, but we still have a bud in waiting. Here's the last photo of it.

Flowers and a fall

2007-06-01T20:18:00.000+01:00

This is how my Peace rose looked yesterday.

And here it is today.

The lilies are getting big fat buds now too.

My Mum had a fall yesterday. She was leaning over to sort out her shoes, and overbalanced. She hurt her back. She phoned me, I told her to use the alarm she has round her neck. She didn't want to trouble anyone, but I said it was what it was there for. So she said OK and put the phone down.

I rang John at work to let him know what was going on. He called back, and Mum's neighbour was there and they were waiting for the paramedics. A bit later Mum phoned back, and a nice lady paramedic spoke to me. Not taking Mum to hospital as they are happy she doesn't have a break, but muscular pain. They gave her paracetamol and called her GPs, one of whom visited later.

Helen was going to visit anyway yesterday, and John decided to go over too.

Gosh, doesn't that rose look soft and comfy to roll around on the petals! Soft and satiny.

John went to Abersoch yesterday

2007-05-29T17:08:00.000+01:00

All photos in this post taken by John, and used with his permission.

I have been gifted with a cold from John's work again. Feeling better now than I did this morning, but still worse than I did yesterday. Still haven't got out to buy seeds yet, should have bought online. Maybe will yet!

John had a swim yesterday morning, and then brought me breakfast in bed before heading off to Abersoch to visit the caravan and see how it had weathered the winter.

Some of the plants are doing really well.

But the oregano always seems to thrive!

So far it looks as if there are 3 buds coming on the agapanthus, but more may appear still if last year is anything to go by.

This hydrangea has some good looking buds coming. This is the one we "pruned" at the end of last season, and took the flowers to GranMary in the rehab nursing home she was in following her op last summer (she's back home now). I hope we get such beautifully coloured flowers this year.

Some plants aren't doing quite so well!

These were left on the table over the winter. I think the greenest one may be chocolate mint. The twiggy one with a few green shoots is Blackcurrant Sage I think, and others are maybe thyme (looks totally dead) and Curry Plant (which looks a bit questionable as to life). Ah well, yer win some, yer loose some.

There are two new caravans at the bottom of the field. These are called 14 & 15, there isn't a 13.

The row of tall trees behind the site have been chopped down over the winter. This should make a lot of the site much sunnier I think, especially late afternoon and evening in autumn time. Here's what it looks like now looking up the field across our neighbour's area.

Oh yeah, as well as the 2 new caravans we have a track down the rest of the field now too.

But the lushness of our bit of hedge hopefully makes up for the loss of grass.

I wonder how the bunnies are doing this year - forgot to ask John last night, and he may not have remembered to ask the rest of the folks on the site. Looking at my plants, I think maybe there are fewer than last year. Time will tell!

Gardening and random other stuff

2007-05-26T21:56:00.000+01:00

Not done much this week, but I did get into the back yard and water some plants.

I have loved the Peace Rose since I was a child. The one in our back yard is attacked most years by aphids. But we usually get at least a couple of blooms. I love the flower, and especially the scent - just wonderful.

Am very entertained by Shrink Rap's post about Darth Vader. I am just a person and not a psychiatrist (if you see what I mean, no offence intended to My Three Shrinks or any other psychiatrist), but I tend to agree with Shrink Rap's take on Darth Vader's possible psychiatric disorder/difficulty. Rather than the alternative.

Am amazed at how the garden is coming on, especially the lillies. We brought these back to Liverpool to sit in the yard safely - left in Abersoch the bunnies would nibble the shoots as they emerged. Now the plants are tall, ready to take to patio at the caravan, but we aren't fit to take them this weekend.

My Day Lily seedlings continue to grow, must pot them on soon into good compost.

Been reading up on Agapanthuses (Agapanthi?) as just love the ones we have in Abersoch so much. My seedlings are coming on, will be interesting to see if any of them flower anytime soon, and if they do if any are worth keeping. Takes about 4 years to get a flower from seedling I think, so not yet! ;-)

This is my mystery bud - will update when it opens!

Sunny Sunday morning

2007-05-20T08:37:00.000+01:00

Just browsing a few blogs, following a few links, and came across a really fantastic idea to make a DIY hackle. Great photos, and very clear video of how to use it. Can't wait to give this a try!

We just sited the swifts, so Summer must be here. I thought I saw one last week, but it was only a single one. I'm assuming it's the same for swifts as for swallows - one swallow does not a summer make.

We have guests this weekend - David, Rob and Em, otherwise known as The Resistance. They are playing at the Cavern tonight. So John and the kids will have a fun evening.

When the going gets tough...

2007-05-16T18:27:00.000+01:00

...the tough go shopping.

Monday "From Fleece to Fabric" by June R. Lewis arrived. Won on eBay. I think this is going to be a really useful book. My wheel still needs work (rather putting it off with all the other stuff going on at the mo), but will be pleased if I can get spinning again over the next couple of months. I haven't done any spinning for over 15 years, and was only a novice back then. But it's fun, and maybe my spindle will come out until my wheel is mended, fettled up and running.

Tuesday Cloth Paper Scissors dropped onto the doormat. I first came across it when reading my friend Loretta's blog. She has a lovely thoughtful article in this issue about life's changes as we move through our lives.

One of the things I like about the magazine is that many of the projects in it are small. Small enough to be contained on a tray (or over the bed hospital-type table) so something I could try even when house/bed bound. This is my first copy, am subbed for a year.

Today's goodies from the Postie are a nice pattern for bags (believe me, I am going to have a LOT of fun choosing fabric for the one in the biggest picture on the packet). And "The Craft of the Weaver" by Ann Sutton, Peter Collingwood and Geraldine St Aubin Hubbard. Another eBay win. Useful overview of weaving methods, not much on spinning, some nice history. This is just on a quick glance. Hopefully will be able to take a more leisurely look soon. I like to have books like this for a quick first reference for any question I might have.

Nice bonus is the book came wrapped in "stress squares" though transparent and not red as seen in Red Dwarf. In other words bubble wrap. But I'm having fun popping away and busting my stress.

And then there was the consignment of various things from Amazon that I forgot I'd ordered it's been so long (1st May) since I placed the order. Ah well, it was a nice surprise and included yet another knitting book.

International ME/CFS Day 2007

2007-05-12T15:43:00.000+01:00

Not sure what this flower is - bulbs planted in a hurry between showers. Might it be a ranunculus?

Today is International ME/CFS Day. It's also Florence Nightingale's birthday - some people believe she may have had ME. She certainly had some sort of disabling, relapsing and remitting illness. She may have had chronic Brucellosis, as suggested by D A B Young, formerly principal scientist, Wellcome Foundation. Maybe that's another thing that could be checked for in ME/CFS patients.

Was very pleased to see that Dr Crippen included a post from Mary in this week's BritMeds about her recent consultation with her (locum) GP over her DLA renewal application. I have always been looked after both well and kindly by my GPs, but I have heard many stories similar to Mary's.

Dr Crippen also included a link to an article in the Scotsman about the spread of Ticks and Lyme Disease in Scotland. The lady in the article was misdiagnosed with ME, and I wonder how many other ME patients may be misdiagnosed when they really have Lyme.

This time last year we were staying with Sarah in her shared house in London. We demonstrated outside the Department of Health, and I presented documents from the MEACH Trust to 10 Downing Street. We did some gardening too.

This year we have had too much on our plate with Dad's hospitalisation and then discharge into a nursing home to have been able to travel that far - we haven't even made it to the caravan yet.

I like the way the raindrops have spattered the black pollen around the petals.

PS The knitting is going very slowly (and is also very mistakey!). About 1 or 2 rounds a day. But I think (hope!) it's longer than it was the last picture I took. I don't think John will mind the mistakes (he's not a knitter, so probably will think it's supposed to be the way it is), nice soft warm wooly socks, who cares about mistakes.

New Toy

2007-05-04T17:14:00.000+01:00

I've managed to get the radio to work, but that's all so far. Might try out the voice recording later, which is really what I wanted this for. But it'll be fun to have a few of my favourite bits of music on it too, if I can learn how to do that. Of course if I can't manage it I'm sure one of the kids will sort me out!

Grand Rounds at Shrink Rap

2007-05-01T16:11:00.000+01:00

Feel honoured to be included in Grand Rounds over at Shrink Rap.

There's also a pod cast about Grand Rounds up here.

I spent a couple of hours just reading the links from the first post mentioned - lots of good stuff about ducks there. Did you know you can keep house-ducks? You just have to use duck diapers!

Off to look at some more of the goodies up on Grand Rounds now.

I don't think I've put this up before, here's another Duck! Taken by Sarah last summer.

Postie brings a parcel!

2007-05-01T12:36:00.000+01:00

Sunday I spent a lot of time reading knitting and craft blogs, and landed on Get Knitted. So I had to order some wool... I wanted to have something relatively simple to knit, the sock I'm currently working on has seed stitch panels. Because my concentration is so bad at the moment I keep making mistakes. While the sock will be perfectly functional with some misplaced stitches it seems a shame to put so much effort in and the final sock have loads of mistakes.

And then I thought that since I was ordering anyway, I'd get the Spring/Summer Vogue Knitting International. And of course I needed needles too - now I'm wishing I'd got 2 sets so I could knit the pair simultaneously. Ah well, next time I'm ordering! (good excuse!)

As you can see, the parcel also contained a sock pattern, Get Knitted biro and a lollipop too! Ordered Sunday, had an email Monday morning to say the parcel had been despatched, and arrived this morning. Great service.

Can't wait to get going, but will have to wait for John to hold the skein for me to wind... I should have ordered a swift while I was at it!

Sunny Monday morning

2007-04-30T11:19:00.000+01:00

John just rang. He has spoken to the Matron at the Nursing Home, and she will go to the hospital to assess Dad tomorrow morning. They may move him as early as Wednesday.

Found some just started socks!

2007-04-29T22:32:00.000+01:00

I seem to have started this sock maybe in 2004... I've picked it up again, and done about 4 rounds today I think. Lots of mistakes, but John won't notice or care.

I knitted a pair of socks from the same issue of Vogue Knitting ages ago. Certainly more than 10 years ago. Initially I used them for Yoga Classes. Now I use them as bed socks very occasionally. They were my first foray into cable knitting.

Today I have been reading lots of knitting blogs, and succumbed to some yarn to knit more socks. But have decided to concentrate more on plain knit socks as I just want something really easy to work with. Something I can just pick up when waiting for whatever.

I'll still keep plugging away on the rust coloured socks, but right now I need some easy knitting.

Back yard update

2007-04-28T20:14:00.000+01:00

Am thrilled to see some of the seed from the really sweet-scented day lilies that I sowed last year has germinated. :-)

A gazillion violets are flowering, and got a fair amount of ivy leaved toadflax (officially a weed, but I just love it and spent years tryingto spread it round the yard!) flowering too.

The agapanthus seedlings are getting quite big now, might even flower in a couple more years if I can give them some good plant food... I really really want a wormery! ;-)

Looks like some of last year's lilies that we brought back from Abersoch in October may flower too. We brought them home to give them a chance to get big enough to flower - the bunnies eat them as they emerge from the ground otherwise.

Lots of violets too.

Another difficult day

2007-04-27T17:25:00.000+01:00

Things are rather tough around here right now, but here's another cat video that made me laugh.

Went out in the back yard about an hour ago. It's full of violets, and some of the day lily seeds I planted in Abersoch last summer (we brought them home at the end of the season) have germinated. Next time I make the trip downstairs I'll try and remember to take my camera!

The Mock Orange bush has a bad case of black fly already, and the rose bush has greenfly. I pulled out about half a dozen weeds, and then had to take a rest.

Atlantic Tower

Kernackered

2007-04-25T15:39:00.000+01:00

Before anything else, take a look at this video, but be warned it's not safe to have food or drink in your mouth while viewing unless you want a be-splattered monitor.

We went to the case conference yesterday, which makes it 3 trips to the Wirral in 4 days. And every time involved using the wheelchair, which gives me a numb bum and does my back in. So today I'm just surfing the web and resting up.

Liverpool Cranes

Liverpool skies

2007-04-23T15:16:00.000+01:00

Saturday we went to visit Dad in hospital. Coming out of the Mersey Tunnel at the Dock Entrance on the way home we were stopped by a red traffic light, so I took the opportunity to shoot one of the Liver Birds.

The whole of central Liverpool is in a state of flux at the moment, with skylines of cranes everywhere. This was the best of a disappointing bunch of photos - the light was just too poor to shoot from a moving car.

We had a very difficult weekend, but I can't really talk about it much at present. And today hasn't been any better so far, just hoping it doesn't degenerate as much as yesterday did.

Tomorrow we have a Case Conference at the hospital about Dad's discharge. Please send us all your positive thoughts at 4pm!

Slugs and snails and other tales...

2007-04-19T20:47:00.000+01:00

It's obviously that time of year... A few days ago someone came to visit this blog searching for stomping snails, and today it was chucking slugs. These creatures do seem to bring out the violent worst in gardeners! I've seen quite a lot of slugs in the back yard, so I guess it's time to bring on the nematodes. Sadly this week has got away with me, so it'll have to be next week now.

My Father is still in hospital, but they want to discharge him. We are going for a Case Conference on Tuesday afternoon. I have been trying to find out about continuing NHS care. Seems I will have to write to the strategic health authority to get a copy of the the local eligibility criteria. I hope they are a bit more helpful than the hospital concerned. Getting any information out of them is like getting blood out of a stone.

I wrote on 4th April (and it was hand delivered to the ward on that date) requesting the medical assessment for Dad's discharge. Yesterday I received a letter from the Operational Management Directorate which said "We note that you have requested information regarding your father's discharge and the Ward Manager has confirmed that you have now been given that information."

This is news to me. We haven't received ANY information. My mother had a letter some weeks ago (April 3rd), but apparently it was just a pro-forma with no details. I was very angry about it at the time, Mum is in her 80s and has age related macular degeneration, so it seems a bit pointless writing to her. I know Mum wants Dad to go back home to her, but I don't think it will be feasible unless they can arrange more or less round-the-clock care. Which seems highly unlikely.

Hospital discharge is supposed to be a process that involves the patient, their carers, and relatives. I can't say I've noticed much in the way of involvement of either Mum (Dad's primary carer), myself or John (my husband, who does his best to give some care for Mum and Dad additional to that provided by Social Services since I can't). Other than that John (at work) and I (at home) get phone calls from social workers who can't get through to Mum, probably because they call when she's out visiting Dad in the hospital.

This is what is supposed to happen according to a very helpful document from the Alzheimer's Society.

Assessment for hospital discharge

Before a person is discharged, their needs must be assessed so that any support or care services that they need can be arranged before the person leaves hospital. Any organisations that will be providing these services must be made aware of when the person is due to be discharged and when they should be visited.

If the patient’s needs have changed considerably since they were admitted to hospital, they may require a multidisciplinary assessment. This might involve the person’s consultant, nursing and ward staff, local authority staff, the person’s GP and their carer. If the patient’s needs have not changed considerably they may need a simpler assessment.

At the time of the assessment the person with dementia, their carer and/or their relatives are entitled to written information that explains:

* The health authority’s eligibility criteria for NHS continuing care
* The services that the primary care trust and the NHS trust will provide
* The services that the local authority will provide, including the likely cost of these and any welfare benefits that the person or their carer may be able to claim to help pay for them
* The NHS trust’s and local authority’s complaints procedure.

So Mum/I/John should have been sent or given various documents a while ago "at the time of the assessment". The assessment was apparently completed on April 4th, but only reached Dad's Social Worker on 17th April (probably typed up in India?). Nothing in today's post, will give it till tomorrow. Next move will probably be a phone call to PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Services).

I am concerned that we had a very "heavy" warning from Dad's first consultant that he has something nasty in his lungs (we haven't yet managed to find out what) and that we MUST be very careful to use the alcohol wash after visiting. I hasten to add that we always did that anyway - I have worked in a bacteriology lab, admittedly many years ago. Even back in the 60s some people were concerned with emerging bacterial resistance.

John asked last week if Dad had been re-tested for this "organism that has colonised his lungs" (as the consultant put it). I was rather shocked by the response, which was along the lines of "Oh we've treated that so it's gone, we don't bother re-testing". Surely this can't be right? When we saw the first consultant he seemed to me to be saying that the infection wouldn't clear completely, and pneumonia would continue to be a danger.

I think I've blogged long enough on the worrying scary stuff for now. So here's some good news!

We make a big deal of the Grand National these days. Choose horses, lay bets, try and memorise the colours of the silks, and so on. And open a bottle of Fizz just before the race starts. I had £1 each way on five horses. John only bet on three. I couldn't keep track of which horse was where, and who had fallen, but towards the end it appeared at least two of my horses were still running.

And one of them won! And the other came third. So thanks to Silver Birch and Slim Pickings I am £52.50 better off than I would have been otherwise.

Tonight's sunset

Bizarre

2007-04-06T16:36:00.000+01:00

We have had a number of very bizarre phone calls with my Mum over the last few (3?) days, but this one from last night takes the biscuit.

8.45pm (after numerous other calls from Mum)
===============================================>>>

Mum (M): Where is John, your son John, sleeping tonight?

John (J): Do you mean your husband John?

M: Yes, him. Where is he sleeping tonight?

J: He's in N Ward, at C Hospital.

M: No, he isn't. He's here with me in the flat. But he won't say anything.

J: But we both know he can't be, because he's in C. How could he have got to the Flat?

M: I don't know but he's here. I can see him here.

J: You have to remember that you're very tired and you've had a lot of stress recently. Could it be that your senses are playing tricks with you?

M: No, I'm perfectly aware of what's happening. Someone just closed a door in the flat above and I heard that.

J: But there's no way John could have got to the Flat.

M: (sounding irritated/peevish) I knew you wouldn't be any use. (emphatically) He's here now! I went to the bathroom and when I came back he was here. I suppose I'll just have to get to bed and try to get some sleep.

J: That sounds the best idea.

=====================================>>>

This morning I stuck "hallucination in blind" in Google, and lo, there is a possible answer. Mum has age related macular degeneration... I think she may be suffering from Charles Bonnet Syndrome (CBS).

Royal National Institute for the Blind - fairly dry and factual

Fantastic and interesting description with some visualisations of what the visions may look like.

We will be contacting her GPs on Tuesday, to let them know, as they may want to speak to her about it. I'm sure that Mum will believe her doctor more than John and me that it's a recognised condition in people with failing eyesight! ;-) Plus doc will be able to check for other possible causes too.

I particularly liked "I knew you wouldn't be any use. He's here now!"

John and I are going hysterical together. Every time my Mum phones at the mo she seems to say something that has us rolling around the bed laughing our socks off. Or tearing our hair out. ;-) Ah well, laughing is good for you, isn't it! And less painful than tearing yer hair out!

Disclaimer - I am not a Doctor. If your loved ones have similar symptoms, please contact you GP/Family Practitioner. Do not rely on my blog, or on the links I give. Links are for interest only, and are not intended as medical advice in any way. I am not a Doctor.

Spring has sprung...

2007-03-25T16:00:00.000+01:00

Bright and cheerful crocuses - a few flowers blew away in the gales the other week, but plenty more have followed on.

It's been a lovely sunny day here in Liverpool. John was feeling sufficiently recovered to go for a swim this afternoon, and take a bit of a walk along Otterspool Prom amongst the kite-flyers and other strollers.

Yesterday we drove over to Clatterbridge in the afternoon to visit my father. I thought he seemed less well than the last time I saw him, about 2 weeks ago I think, but it's hard to tell. Maybe it's just disorientation after being moved. But he was pleased to see us.

He has a label around his wrist saying something like "Danger of Falling", and I was relieved to see he is now in a bed with side bars. He kept getting out of bed before (on the last ward), but didn't manage to use the frame he'd been given. Instead of leaning on it he just carried it around. Dr R will be doing a ward round on Tuesday or Wednesday, so hopefully we will get a better idea of how things are going after that.

Some of the freesias the girls gave me for Mothering Sunday are still flowering, and they still smell wonderful. John can't smell freesias. And it's my favourite flower because of its perfume. He brought me a bunch into LMH when I'd just had Sarah. I woke in the night, and smelled them, and cried. Felt so lonely, and touched he had remembered how I liked freesias even though he can't smell them. Plus was terrified at having a baby - I'd never even held a baby before I was being trundled on a trolley through the bowels of the hospital clutching Sarah to me and scared I was going to drop her.

Of course that was back in the days when you were kept in for 10 days as standard. But I was chucked out after 7 as they needed the bed. So some things haven't changed!